Insecurities with my body

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2008
Insecurities with my body
7
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 12:43pm
I just got out of a 11 year relationship not too long ago but I have since met someone and we have had sex. I am VERY insecure with my body because my stomach area is messed up from having an 11 pound baby. My new guy tells me that we need to try some new positions next time and I said ok but I really do not want to because of the insecurity. I hate it. One day I will get it taken care of but right now I have to live with it but it is so embarrassing. From a guys point of view what do you think about this? Any opinions?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 2:19pm

You need to be with someone who is intereested in you and not just your body. If you are not sure of this than you shouldn't b having sex. I would love you just for who you are. A body is a body, and if yu are with someone who is all about appearances, than all he is is appearances and yu don' need that kind of person in your life, because they will always be checking out someone else, even if you were Aphrodite herself. If you are insecure and gaurded, and so tend to be inhibited about sex, this will caouse more problems than anything else. If he loves you than you are beautiful to hm, so stop worryng!

May you live for one hundred Autumns

May you be prosperous for one hundred Autumns

May you be healthy for one hundred Autmns

May you b

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2008
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 2:30pm

Thank you for the advise. That is really helpful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 2:51pm

No one is perfect hun! If peole realized how much touch up went into creating those perefect bods, they would be surprised. I

May you live for one hundred Autumns

May you be prosperous for one hundred Autumns

May you be healthy for one hundred Autmns

May you b

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 3:43pm

Welcome to the board, purple4ever.

I once heard someone tell another woman not to worry about how she looked naked with her guy because he wouldn't be able to notice anything past the boobs. For a lot of guys, that's very true. They're into the moment and what's happening, and as gefyon pointed out, being insecure will cause more damage than anything else.

Since this is a fairly new relationship, if you're not totally comfortable, keep the lights off, or have a soft, distant light only. You could also wear a piece of sexy lingerie that you can keep on (IF he can stand that -- my guy likes the way lingerie looks on the floor). You may also want to have a glass of wine or two beforehand to help you relax. The more into the mood you get, the less you'll worry about how you look. Have music on in the background too if that's something that can help you not think about things.

Here's a handful of articles you might find helpful too:

Improving Your Body Image
http://yourtotalhealth.ivillage.com/diet-fitness/improving-your-body-image.html?nlcid=wh|01-08-2008|

Learn to Love the Skin Your In
http://yourtotalhealth.ivillage.com/diet-fitness/learn-love-skin-youre-in.html?pageNum=1

Understanding Self Esteem
http://yourtotalhealth.ivillage.com/self-esteem.html?nlcid=wh|01-08-2008|

Boost Your Body Image in the Bedroom
http://yourtotalhealth.ivillage.com/boost-your-body-image-in-bedroom.html?nlcid=wh|01-08-2008|





iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 3:47pm

Good advice


I'd also offer, what about some "outfits" ??


Like a corset or tight fitting nightie, to keep everything in place. Corsets can be kind of pointy, so that might take some practice.


The whole experience will be better if you can focus on the important things & not on what might be jiggly.


Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 4:12pm

Well as a man in that situation I just tell my GF she is beautiful...SHE IS... and that she shouldn't worry cause I love that body!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hopefully he doesn't make you uncomfortable about it and if he does he really isn't that good of a catch.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 4:52pm
I completely understand i have had 3 kids and i have stretch marks. Me and my fiance have been together for 2 years and when we first started having sex i always left my shirt on and when i told him why he said that he did not care about my stretch marks and he told me that i was beautiful. I still have issues with it even with him but i know that he loves me and that it does not bother him. So if he really cares about you then he wont care about your belly. I hope i helped a little.