Intercourse preferences - size, stami...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Intercourse preferences - size, stami...
31
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 7:58pm

Intercourse preferences - size, stamina or other?



  • Large penis and 5 minute sex
  • 5-6inch penis and 20-30 minute sex
  • neither size or stamina is important, I just love sex with my partner
  • I want both size AND stamina
  • Foreplay is more important and intercourse is the icing on the cake
  • I'm so tired after foreplay that quick intercourse is my preference
  • Other (please explain)


You will be able to change your vote.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 6:27pm

>>In retrospect and after reading the replies, I wish I had used "15 mins" instead of 20-30 minutes in my original question<<


It may interest you to know that if your original question was "15 mins", I probably would have voted for stamina ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 7:04am
Thanks a lot, free. I wish I could read that post.

I definitely think men can learn to slow down and prolong intercourse. To me, this increases the pleasure for them, while providing benefits to the women as well. I read that many men cum quickly because at an early age they learn this through masturbation , that is, they learned to masturbate quickly for fear of being caught. I actually was the opposite. I had a life-long habit of prolonging masturbation for 15 minutes or more. I gues that's why I have always been very slow to orgasm during intercourse. When I got together with my DF I had not had sex for many years and it took me four months before I could orgasm during intercourse. Now , I can orgasm in about 10-15 minutes with me on top and I seldom orgasm in any other position. Since my DF can have multiples from intercourse, this is very much a positive situation. In the last year, as I've said before, I've learned Taoist techniques for contolling my ejaculations and orgasming without ejaculation, but I don't do anything to delay my initial orgasm. Another side-effect of this is that she can respond to my impending orgasm ( we moan each other's names as a signal) and time hers to coincide, so we have several simultaneous orgasms almost every session. We find that it really connects us.

taoist.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 4:46pm
yasmin i beg to disagree...its been my observation that every question regarding size has the majority of females claiming size DOES matter...this is not to say ALL of those women who state size is important necessarily choose "larger"...although it does seem most women prefer a thicker penis, not only for physical but also for visual stimulation...i just can't recall a poll on this board where the majority of females state "size isn't important".

i do agree with you regarding my attraction to men...i also prefer "average" guys, i've never been attracted to "pretty boys" or guys that seem overly into their bodies and looks...and yet i understand men are commonly more visual than us females so i would not be surprised if many men would prefer a gorgeous babe (IF they could have anything they wanted LOL)...than again, beauty IS in the eye of the beholder and of course men find "gorgeous babe" to be many types of women and i also believe we become more attractive to those who love us.

as far as your wanting to get to the root of the female arousal, i know that for *me* its not soo much size OR stamina or even skill...its love...its the way my knees go weak to feel his hand reach for mine as we cross the street...its the way he looks deeply into my eyes before leaning in for a kiss that makes me breathless for him...its my waking to a cup of his steaming coffee and his bright smile that inspires me to reach for him and pull him back to bed :)....of course a beautiful penis, stamina and eagerness, and a skillful touch all are wonderful too...but its the guy personally that "does it" for me.. its why weeks ago i got into a debate on the board with jeep regarding his claim that every woman he's ever slept with, even casually, was brought to orgasm by him simply because he considers himself "skilled" with the ladies...that is very UNtrue for me, casual sex leaves me flat and unsatisfied and never inspires me to intensely react....and while i realize many women can and do orgasm during casual sex with a guy who is somewhat a stranger to her, for *me* the only reason a casual sex partner from my past would feel i orgasmed with him was because i wound up faking just to end the encounter and be done with him LOL.

just my $.02.

honey

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 4:58pm
tao, why would you assume "this is even more true of very attractive men" when you state that some "10's" are "high-maintenance and stuck on themselves"?...are you suggesting a great looking man is more likely to have those negative qualities than a beautiful woman?...and what has caused you to conclude that a "10" man would be more like that than a "10" woman?...its been *my* experience very beautiful women are also often "high-maintenance and stuck on themselves" and cause some negative drama in romances...my point is, i have noticed thru some of your posts that you are at times...well...somewhat negative about other men...you seem to assume some negative things about men...you leave me with the impression (at times) that you feel a bit superior to other men (if i may be so bold and make such an observation)....when the fact is i have found most men to be wonderful! :)....often i read your posts where there is a slight "put down" of men where you assume lots of guys are selfish lovers, etc...i wonder how you came to these conclusions?...from reading this board alone it seems many many women have great men in their lives!...from my personal, real-life experience with women i've seen many many women have great men in their lives!...so how did you come to have this seemingly "sour taste" in your mouth for other men?...yea, i realize there may be some jerks around, men who are selfish bastards LOL...but most healthy, sane women know how to weed those types out and so they really shouldn't be a problem LOL...have you had many bad experiences with males?...i just wonder where your assumptions come from.

ps, this is NOT a slam! :)...i think you seem like a real nice guy tao.

honey

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 6:12pm
I knew it was time for some vinegar.

Yasmin, you can take the one on the importance of size ,

I'll take the one on men who are 10s.

Honey,

First of all, let me remind you that you yourself said :

"i also prefer "average" guys, i've never been attracted to "pretty boys" or guys that seem overly into their bodies and looks.."

Second - this whole thing was simply an example about looks vs. quality as a lover that I quoted to illustrate how I thought Yasmin's choice of size and stamina might skew her results.

Third - Yes, I think we will all agree that really gorgeous women are at least somewhat likely to be "high-maintenance" and "stuck on themselves" and have rather big egos. Another thing about women who are 10s is that they attract men like bees to honey. If a man has a woman who is a "10" , he probably has to worry at least a little about her fidelity.

Now, take your man who is a "10" in looks. He attracts a lot of women. Many average-looking men have big egos and are not always as faithful as one could wish. Isn't it even more likely that a guy who is a "10" (and I'm talking about someone that is generally thought by everyone to be gorgeous) will have a somewhat enlarged ego and be pretty likely to yield to temptation when a lot of women are throwing themselves at him.

Yes, Yes, Yes there are lots and lots of wonderful men out there. And there are lots of wonderful women out there. You and I have one of each.

Maybe my ideas have been somewhat skewed since I've been reading askmen.com a lot lately. According to many of the men over there , most women are high-maintenance, attention-grabbing, gold-digging, game-playing , "sluts". And given the attitudes most of the men there espouse , that's just about what they deserve.

taoist


Edited 6/19/2004 8:55 pm ET ET by taoistnovice

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 10:04pm
it seems basically, bottom line we agree tao...although i am a bit insulted that you soo often reference my screenname and jump on me whenever i disagree or debate and cry "vinegar"...thats kinda not fair in my opinion tao...women fight that image all the time, that when they assert themselves so often men (or other women) will cry "foul! bitch!" LOL...and i suppose my screename lends to one easily having a "scapegoat" with me, as IF my silly screenname is notarized and written in stone that when i say something in disagreement it can be written off as a vinegar mood swing...so be it tao...but i think thats unfair and a low blow...anyway, not to get off topic :), just wanted to finally deal with you now and again making reference to my name as if its fact and i'm the only human who debates :)....so be it.

anyway it seems we do basically agree that often times a "10" in looks can have an attitude...personally i have never been cheated on (that i know of of course) and so i am not jaded and tainted to view men as potential cheaters...not even when i've dated very handsome guys...my current SO is oh soo cute (in my eyes anyway) and i am sure other women find him yummy and that has never made me feel insecure or on shakey ground or at risk for infidelity...i take it for granted a man would be a fool to cheat on me and leave it as that (LOL - yup i'm cocky too).

thanks for your mentioning your experience of askmen, maybe that has tainted your view on men...i'm just pointing out the view from ivillage can be just as valid, that being there are plenty of good, gold hearted, generous, loving guys out there :)

honey

    

Avatar for cl_tally33
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 10:52pm
"Obviously many women would love to have both".....

I HATE that assumption. This is such a GUY thing, not a woman thing!!! There are probably a few women out there who are more happy with a big one. Just like there are guys out there who are more happy with big boobs. But for all the women I've known IRL, size has never been an issue. NEVER. In fact, we don't even talk about it. Even with my closest friends, size has never been discussed, **even** when we're discussing satisfaction.

As far as stamina, that's another individual thing. Sex that goes longer than 3 minutes is great, but sex that goes on for hours isn't sex, IMO. It's chaffing.

Tally33


"Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

Lewis Carroll












Tally33 "Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 12:59am
I assumed that you chose that name to show that you have both a sweet side and a sour side, and you have to admit, you like giving me a hard time sometimes. I have nothing against vinegar, anyway. It's a very nice condiment and adds just the right flavor to many dishes. Remember, I'm a Taoist and we're into the Yin/Yang balance. Why do you think the Chinese have so many "Sweet and sour" dishes?

Remember when I tried to get Jeephead to chill out when he was going off on you. I think honey and vinegar is a good combination, but he re-acts to you like baking soda.

My DF likes to call herself "sweetie", and she is. She's only a little tangy when she's teasing me ( like when she gives me a hard time for spending so much time on these boards). Actually I think of her as a lot of diverse and very satisfying flavors, and not just sweet.

DF becomes my DW in just two weeks!!!

taoist

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 11:24am
Well congratualtions and I hope all goes well for you two and I wish you all the best for your future! Weddings are such a happy time...I cannot wait until I finally get to mine. Although I have NO IDEA when that will be but that is another issue entirely. I just wanted to say that I am happy for you and I know you will have a wonderful life with each other. Best of luck to you two!! And just remember to ALWAYS keep your head up, your eye on the goal, focus through the stroms and are heart in the game and the BEST will ALWAYS happen.

~Lynn

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 11:35am

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