issues with blow jobs
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| Sun, 03-05-2006 - 5:49pm |
Hey everyone.
Ok, my guy is a typical guy. LOVES getting them. He BEGS for them. It's annoying at times. But I know it's just a guy thing.
The thing is, I really don't get pleasure out of doing them, partly because it is so exhausing. He has a large penis, both length and width, and thus my jaw gets really tired and it is painful at times. I know, i probably preachin to the choir here. But, i figured i would see what others had to say about it. Anyways, half the time I don't make him cum because I just get so tired, and I end up helping him finish off another way( I tell him, "welcome to my world of the infrequent orgasm..hehe).
But I WANT to be able to enjoy it. I don't want him to have to beg me for it; i want to just want to! lol.... I want to be able to make it good for both me and him. Any tips on making this more pleasurable for both parties???? THANKS!

Enjoying doing anything is personal choice and your mindset.
It's not very likely that you WOULD enjoy doing something that you're being hounded for and that leaves you tired and sore. And maybe, feeling taken advantage of?
Does he offer to reciprocate every time he begs for it? Maybe if you made reciprocation a requirement every time, he wouldn't ask so often! LOL!
But no, it isn't a "guy thing" to ask for blow jobs all the time. I enjoy doing it for my DH because I don't feel pressured to do it. I might not enjoy it so much if I felt that he expected it regardless of my mood, feelings, etc that night.
But the soreness is likely coming from attempting to suck too much, too long or too hard. You really don't need to suck on a penis to give pleasure though. I figured that out myself over time. It's about stimulation, any kind.
I prefer to start with a hand and then switch to oral, once my DH is sufficiently aroused. And if he is taking too long, then I will add other stimulation like perineal massage, nipple or anal stimulation. He usually orgasms within 30 seconds.
But if he's very large, you may concentrate on the head and give yourself a break. You can only do what you can do. The rest, the enjoyment of giving pleasure, should come with less fatigue and soreness. AND hounding!
Edited 3/6/2006 1:19 am ET by katmandoo2001
Thanks, Kat. I will try those techniques out. I know what you mean about the hounding. The thing is, we are a very inexperienced couple...for lack of better phrasing..haha. He is my first serious boyfriend and I am his first serious girlfriend. I am the first one to give him head. So I can see where he is coming from--even though, mind you, i do tell him how ANNOYING he is sometimes.
I have only given him head a few times...and that was during my period, of course...Keep in mind that we have broken up like twice before, but not because of sexual issues, but because he has a lot of growing up to do. But, i took him back(it was his initiative) because I truly am in love with him. He is so insecure about his sexual performance, but this coming week..he WILL go down on me. No more of this pressure.
Speaking from the guy's perspective, I absolutely *LOVE* oral from DW, and the main reasons are (a) I'm usually on the bottom and can lay back and enjoy the ride :-) and (b) it's just enough less intense than IC that I don't have to worry about going off too quickly.
If you're interested in finishing him off quickly, add handwork on the shaft and focus your mouth on the first couple of inches. If you want to give your mouth a little rest, don't just stroke him in your mouth, nibble and lick on the shaft, play with 'the boys' a little more (in your mouth if you're both comfortable with it), and massage the perineal area with your fingers. Change-ups will keep his interest focused on what you're doing and where :-), and help him get to the finish.
Making a guy orgasm quickly with a BJ is actually musch easier than most women think. The most sensitive part of a guy's penis is just below the head. This should help you from getting sore.
Start with giving him a few long, deep strokes with your mouth just to get him warmed up. Then move your mouth to just his head and about an inch below it. Don't use you teeth, but press your tongue firmly against the area just below the head as you're moving your mouth. Use your hand to stroke his shaft in rhythm with your mouth. You can also use your hand to massage the area in between his balls and his anus - if he's comfortable with that.
He should orgasm much quicker and your mouth won't get sore.
thanks, jax. I appreciate a guy's point of view on this. He mentioned playing with the "boys" a little more as well. But, he seems to think he gets off better when I take more of him in..thus my mouth getting achey...lol..
Thanks for the tips!