Is it an age thing?
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Is it an age thing?
| Thu, 02-02-2006 - 7:01am |
He is 61; I am 47. We've been together almost two years, and haven't had sex in weeks. Just for my own insecurity, is it me? Am I too comfortable and boring after all that time, or do older men just don't get "hot" that often?

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Hi blackhillsgold:
I am 56. The doctor said men my age will have a drop off of testosterone. Also, I get aroused more by touch than immagination. IMHO, YOU should continue to keep touching him.
He should also get checked out by his doctor or urologist.
Mac
That all depends on the man, what his libido was like to begin with, his health, his fitness, if he has any medical problems (heart, blood pressure, diabetes, etc.) if he's on medications for anything, etc.
Physically, his doctor says he checks out fine, apart from a slight cholesteral problem, which he takes medicine for. He is under some stress financially, and I don't want to pressure him any further. There is lots of cuddling and snuggling and kissing, but that's it. Just for my own piece of mind, I guess I need reassurance that I haven't turned too boring and predictable, and he is looking elsewhere.
Thank you both.
Any kind of stress, anxiety, worries, problems can have an effect on our sex drive so your answer could very well be with the financial stress he's having right now.
I don't feel talking to your partner about your relationship or your sex life is putting pressure on your partner.
Tish said it all. Age, in and of itself, has nothing to do with anything. His doctor said he was "fine", but what was the doctor looking for? Unless the doctor is told that there's a "problem", they're not looking for one! Did he check his hormones? Prostate? Unless you went to the doctor with him, you have no idea what the doctor might have told him.
The bottom line is that if you're not happy with ANYTHING in a relationship, you need to talk about it. It could be stress. It could be a prostate problem that makes it hard for him to get an erection (and men are notorious for NOT discussing sex with their doctors!). Whatever it is, he's the only one who can tell you what's going on.
There comes a time when someone has to say, "It's time to get real, people!" so here I am to say it.
Let's all forget about the way sex among the older crowd is portrayed on tv (an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" comes to mind...) and get back to reality. I am a male rapidly approaching "mid-fifties" and I can tell you in no uncertain terms that both my drive and interest have diminished significantly in the last couple of years. I am otherwise healthy and my DW of 24 years has not changed much since the day I met her (I doubt that she has gained more than 10 lbs in all that time and she can still fit into her wedding gown!). There was a time in my life when I couldn't go 12 hours without sex in one form or another (intercourse, masturbation, whatever); nowadays going a week is a piece of cake, 10 days is not out of the question.
Based on conversations I have had with male friends and co-workers my age and older, I would say that I am not all that unusual in this regard.
My answer to the original post would be yes and no. I'm about 10 years younger than you, but my sex drive is almost as strong now as it was when I was in my twenties.
Also, of my older male friends, the pool is mixed. While age definitely can play a role in a waning sex life, it doesn't necessarily play the leading one. There are enough of them running around like 17 year-olds (some with, some without being on HGH therapy), that I have to conclude it's more a matter of how well one takes care of themselves overall, rather than age alone. My dad and my grandfather were 2 of the horniest guys I know, and that was when they were in their 70s! And my family genes are nothing exceptional in this way. Personally, and godwilling, I'm looking forward to being a dirty old man well into my twilight years ;).
It really is best to take things on an individual basis.
E
Sorry, but I disagree. Age has nothing to do with anything if a man is healthy and isn't on any medications that cause problems, or if he's an alcoholic or drug addict.
The only thing age does to or for a man who IS in good health is to give him better control over his "urges". Maybe he also has more discrimination about it.
My ex SO was nearing 70, and had the libido of a 20 year old! We have a poster on another board that is well over 70, and he and his wife have sex almost daily! I doubt if these are the only two men like that.
<<<"It's time to get real, people!" so here I am to say it>>>
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