Is it me or him...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2006
Is it me or him...
4
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 8:30am

I've been with my bf for about 4 months. Our sex life has always been good. However, there are times when he loses his erection or cannot reach orgasm. When this happens, he gets upset and doesnt want to even try again. I'm getting frustrated and upset about this. Why does this happen?? I know he's attracted to me but when this happens I begin to doubt myself. Is it something I did? Is it how I look? Is he thinking he'd rather be with someone else? He says he doesnt know why it happens and that it never happened before.

I don't know what to think anymore.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 10:32am

You need to STOP "thinking". This is NOT unusual, and it happens to every man on occasion. When it's a new relationship, you're both nervous. Then it happens once, and the guy is more nervous the next time, and it's going to happen again. It's called a "self fulfilling prophecy"! He's so worried it will happen, that it DOES happen. And then you get upset and frustrated, which gets HIM upset and frustrated.

You both need to relax, and if it happens, it happens. Instead of being upset and frustrated, why don't you just take over and HELP him.....if he loses his erection, you can usually bring it back manually or orally. If he can't finish during intercourse, you can help him finish manually or orally. The sooner you both learn to take it in your stride, and not get each other upset, the sooner things will get more relaxed, and he won't have the problem so often. It's perfectly normal for men to have it happen occasionally, and the less fuss you make about it, the better it will be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2005
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 11:47am
Completely agree. Don't worry about it or give it a second thought. He'll be fine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 12:52pm

I agree with Sakura also.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2006
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 7:05pm

Well he broke up with me today. Said he loves me but isnt in love with me and that he doesnt feel excited when he's with me.