is it me or is it him too big for me?
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| Fri, 11-24-2006 - 2:03pm |
Hi everyone and thanks for taking your time to read this. I've never posted on a discussion board about sex and i'm very confused at the moment.
First of all my boyfriend and I just started having sex. He was a virgin (20) and i'm not (21). Now before him, I hadn't had sex for a approx. a year (by choice) and when we had sex the other day it hurt so much. It didn't even hurt that much when i lost my virginity as compared to the other night. I'm not sure if it's something wrong with me because it feels like it's hitting the top and i'm being stretched or something therefore he can't go for too long fast and hard otherwise it's excruciating. It really sucks because I know with the other guys i've been with during sex and other things i've always been complimented on how good I am and now I feel like I can't perform as well as i usually can and I want too because I actually REALLY REALLY like this guy. I'm an asian female and he's caucasian and i don't know if there's any relevance to it, but the other guys i've been with have been white as well. And he says his penis is 7 inches and i never measured the other guys before. Could there be something physically wrong with me? What can i do to make this better? Do i just have to wait it out before i stretch out a little bit?

How about neither? It's not you, and he's not too big for you! Your vagina is capable of stretching big enough to allow a baby to pass thru it, and a 7" penis is NOT abnormally large, nor is it larger than an average sized baby.
The fact that you haven't had sex for a year has nothing to do with anything. Your vaginal walls are closed tight until you're aroused by sexual foreplay. Your vagina never stretches "permanently".....when sex is over, it's tight again.
This is a new partner. He has no previous experience. Does he know anything about foreplay, and was there any? You can't just get an erection, and ram it into a vagina. And YOU should never let something like that go on if you're in excruciating pain.
First time sex between two new partners is never the greatest, because it takes time to learn about each other's bodies, and be comfortable with each other. You take lots of time for foreplay, kissing, touching, fondling, and clitoral stimulation, either oral or manual. When you do THAT, your vagina should be relaxed, you should be producing lubrication, and it should NOT hurt. Because of nervousness, some women don't produce enough lubrication, and you should use some sexual lubricant to help with that. Buy some, and try it next time. If it hurts, then STOP, because you're not relaxed enough.
There's no rush to get it right. If it doesn't work this time, then try again another time. Do NOT continue if you're in pain. Even if you allow it when it's painful, it is NOT going to "stretch" you for next time, it will be the same every time.
Foreplay, lubrication and relaxation are the key to pleasure during intercourse.
I would also recommend though it is up to you because protection from STD's isn't an issue, but for protection from pregnancy to use latex condoms. Good luck.
thanks dakine!
yeah, i've been teaching him everything and it's great now...we had complete success today thrice...i guess it was first time jitters...
Dear Dakine - have you ever thought of becomming a cl? Your advice is always amazing to read. You seem to have a lot experience to share with folks and it is crammed full of common sense.
R
Rich, good to the last drop
"You take lots of time for foreplay, kissing, touching, fondling, and clitoral stimulation, either oral or manual. When you do THAT, your vagina should be relaxed, you should be producing lubrication, and it should NOT hurt."
...and remember, that foreplay isn't only about you, it's about also about him. When you are touching "each other," not only will you get pleasure out of the sensations that you are physically feeling, but you will get pleasure out of the pleasure he is feeling. That's truly the ultimate--when your body becomes aroused while giving pleasure, as well as receiving.
Great post Dakine, my thoughts exactly....