It's all in my head

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2013
It's all in my head
5
Wed, 03-13-2013 - 12:00am

I've had the same sexual partner for the last six months. It's complicated, he is a dear friend who I have known for years. A few years ago he and I did the deed once and I gave him oral sex, neither of which got "finished".

Obviously now, finishing isn't a problem....well, at least finishing him off isn't a problem, but that I may get to at a later time. I am here now to discuss the oral sex relationship. I love giving him pleasure through oral sex. I'd do it every day if I could, and for a while I was doing it at the very least 2-3 times a week. The last two months however, I've only been about to 4 or 5 times because of the physical distace between us and our new living situations.

I had just gotten to the point where I could take him in without gagging or being nervous when he moved away....now, I can't seem to get it in my throat at all! The next time I see him I want it to be a mind blowing experience for him. I don't expect to be a porn star at giving oral sex, but I'd like to be as amazing at it as I can possibly be. So if anyone has any suggestions please let me know!

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2012
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 3:20pm

I'm sure he's just fine with it even if you can't get it in your throat, men are pretty predictable that way ;) Just try to relax and keep trying, nerves are your enemy. Have you tried a glass of wine or two to relax your further? You could also try using some good tasting oils, maybe even the ones that heat up. Have fun! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2010
Fri, 03-15-2013 - 12:54pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2010
Fri, 03-15-2013 - 12:54pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2012
Wed, 03-20-2013 - 8:54pm

Hey Nonyanowimhis,

Boobsandbaubles is right: nerves are your enemy. Try to approach all the possible angles. If you can't take it all in (which is really difficult, I know!) keep two well-lubricated hands very busy, one on his testicles and the other rubbing up and down his shaft in a cork screw motion. Alternate one hand between his testicles and his perineum, and as you draw him out of your mouth, make sure you run your tongue around the head and the frenulum (the vertical flap of skin connecting his foreskin to his shaft, or left over from his circumcision if he's cut). All the sensation overload will drive him nuts, guaranteed! Good luck and have fun ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2013
Sat, 03-23-2013 - 4:13pm

My girlfriend and I have been dating for close to 4 months now. And the relationships as a whole is great. We share a lot of interests but still have enough difference to keep things exciting and allow for space when needed. The only thing is, she doesn't seem to want to ever have sex with me. On that rare occassion when we do (3-4) times a week ,it is very good. However, 99 % of the sex that we have is always initiated by me, and when  she rarely does initiate it, she feels "bad" for me, and since ive gotten rejected so manny times, and can barley kiss her without her fidgeting,or removing my hands from parts of her body , i don't even wanna try anymore, it's eating me up inside, causing me more insecurities, even though those probably Aren't  her intentions, I can't change how my feelings effect me , i feel like its pity sex, and i end up feeling pathetic there by always leaving me to question whether or not she actually wanted to,

Now we have tried to have open discussions on it (one aspect of our relationship we value most "communication") but every time it comes up it never seems to have a resolution. I feel as though she doesn't think that it is affecting our relationship. That is not to say that I am one of these guys that would dump my girl just because she didn't have sex with me. No, I am merely just stating that it is causing frustration for me I.e. "sexual frustration." This frustration over the past months  has caused me to put less effort into being romantic and engaging with her in the daily things we enjoy together, sometimes I don't even want to respond to her when she's talking sometimes. I know that this is frustrating to her and causes wonder. I really try to do things that I feel could "sweep her off her feet" and I have ideas, fortunately I am a hopeless romantic and believe in it. I want to take her places and show her the world.

Unfortunately this hopeless romantic has a fairly strong sex drive, and it has never been a problem In the past . I don't know what to do. I would love any real advice that could help.