I've lost confidence.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2002
I've lost confidence.....
8
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 12:39pm

Happy Holidays everyone!! A bit of help would be great right now! I normally am very confident in that area but I'm losng it for some reason he always initiates sex now cos I don't of course it's not because I dont want to it jst takes me so long to pluck up the courage that I never end up doing anything!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 2:37pm

Hi and welcome j. Nice to meet you. Will you please fill in your profile so we can know something about you? Thanks a million. Happy Holidays to you.


It sounds like you haven't always been like this, so what happened to make it change? I think anyplace that you touch or kiss him would be just fine. If he didn't like it, he would probably tell you. Are you married? How long have you two been together? Has he said something to make you feel like this?



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 8:47pm

Welcome to the board, jmilano.

Nhgal asked some great questions. Perhaps if we had a bit more background on your relationship, it would be helpful. How long have the 2 of you been together? Has anything else changed? Did you ever feel rejected by him? Has he ever made you feel like he judges you? Have you been going through stress in other areas of your life?

So many factors can play into such a change, but before we can try to help you get your confidence back, it would be helpful to know what made you loose it.





iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 12-25-2007 - 1:44am
Not enough info!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2002
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 8:51am

Merry Christmas everyone!!! I do apologise for the lack of information, got so bothered about my problem I forgot about the rest!!! well ive been with my partner for almost 2 years now the relationship really just keeps getting better but the truth is he has a abit like alot of men i know of highlighting your insecurites when its really thm that are insecre!!! so every so often if he doesnt know the answer or what to do or has done something wrong i's my fault just so its NEVER him!!


So indirectly he does put me down although he isnt nasty about it. then sometimes I get upset and of course he has won!! So i guess it can overlap on to our sex life he always has found me very attractive and wants sex ALL the time but i guess putting me down makes me feel bad all round


the silly thing is it seems to be after i have gotten upset or been through the moment that i realise HE'S DONE IT AGAIN!!!


PS. we're not married either. ok so now i think ive figured myself out as best

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 9:31am

I think you've already figured it out for yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 9:56am

jmilano...Hello! Merry Christmas to you too. It's nice to see you posting.


but the truth is he has a abit like alot of men i know of highlighting your insecurites when its really them that are insecure


Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted as saying, " No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"...


a lot of men I know of highlighting your insecurities when its really them that are insecure


A lot of men also respect and value a woman so much so that they would never point out such insecurities regardless of how insecure they might be feeling.

Mrs P

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 10:12am

Just talk to him...tell him how you want to be treated, talked to. If he can't do that for you perhaps you might want to think about finding someone who will.


Very good advice Mrs P.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 10:24am

Where were you 11 years ago?


KD I was busy making my own mistakes just like everybody else!


I hope some more people chime in here.


You cannot blame anyone else for what you allow them to do to you....especially once you have told them to stop.

Mrs P