I've Never Had An Orgasm... :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
I've Never Had An Orgasm... :(
22
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 2:37pm
I am 23 years old & have never had an orgasm. I know I'm missing out. I have been on birth control since I was 15 years old & I take medications (Effexor & Strattera). Could this be why I have never experienced an orgasm? I hate my sex life. I can never get wet. Never. I am dry as sandpaper. Oral sex won't even do anything for me. And my minds just kinda wonders off, when I'm having sex with my man (we've been together almost 2 years...), which is part off the ADD/ ADHD. Please help!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 3:20pm
I hate to tell you this, but there are many women that don't have any problems or medications, that don't have orgasms.

I don't know what those medications are, but there are many meds that have sexual side effects. Read the package inserts or ask your doctor about that.

If you're dry, sometimes a side effect of the "pill".....then you need to get and use some sexual lubricant. If you're dry, isn't intercourse painful? If so, you can hardly expect to have orgasms. Also, since your vagina has little or no nerve endings, there's not much feeling there, and very few women have orgasms from intercourse alone. Your real sexual organ is your clitoris, and most of us need clitoral stimulation during foreplay to have orgasms. Make sure you're getting enough foreplay...and learn to NOT let your mind wander during sex.

I don't know about the ADD......that might also be part of your problem. But if you learn to pay attention to what's going on, you can have lots of pleasure without ever having an orgasm.

Can you masturbate to orgasm? If you haven't tried, then try it. Most of us have to experiment a little to find out what feels good, then tell our partner what he needs to do.

A lot of it has to do with your partner, and your feelings for him. Maybe you just haven't had the right partner yet.

Check out this site, there might be information there that can help you figure it out. www.the-clitoris.com

Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 3:32pm
Discuss this issue with your doctor. Hormonal birth control can definitely have an effect on your sex drive and wetness. If this has always been a problem, it may be the result of the birth control. I don't know about the other medications, but if they are psychotropic drugs they may also have an effect.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 3:45pm

Sexual dysfunction is one of the main side effects of Effexor.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 3:57pm
"And my mind just kinda wanders off....," isn't that one of the main symptoms of ADD anyway...an inability to focus? And you really need to be able to focus on what you're feeling to reach orgasm.

Maybe the meds you're on aren't working for you now and it's time to talk with your dr. about trying something else. Otherwise, I would think that it's likely that you would have experienced an orgasm BEFORE 15.

And as Sugarbeat pointed out, BCP's can definitely affect desire and the ability to orgasm, as well. Talk with your dr. and be specific about your problem.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 5:13pm
What does Lexapro do for you? How does it help? I want to switch me Effexor to something else... and I am going to get off the Pill, and get back on the shot (Depo-Provera). Does the shot cause sexual side effects, too? What b.c. doesn't? Help!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 5:26pm

I'm on Lexapro for PTSD.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 6:49pm
Your Dr. is the best source of information and guidance for your particular case regarding medications and side effects.

But hormonal birth control, via pills, patches or shots, are not the only birth control available to you. Your gynecologist can show you all the options to choose from, including IUD'S and cervical caps, etc. which don't manipulate your hormones. Again though, any kind of birth control needs to be personalized for you and your particular needs. Talk with your dr.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 1:21pm
Hightek,

You've got GREAT responses here and I'm in full agreement that you should discuss this with your doctor, you never know just how extra helpful that may be for you.

In addition, I want you to consider checking out and possibly posting your situation on these other two message boards as well if you haven't already:

Sexual Health

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhgensex

Ask Dr. Ruth

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlruth

Those message boards are pretty experienced with all kinds of cases just like this one, but more importantly, they may be able to suggest even more questions for you to ask your doctor about that may not have been thought of as well.

Good luck to you. Hope you'll post back and let us know how it goes.

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 11:02pm
I want to thank everyone for their support & dedication. I will talk to a doc next time I go to the health department. God bless you all.

Love,

Tracy

P.S. If you want to reach me, e-mail me at: hightek669@yahoo.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 2:32am
Maybe I can't have an orgasm? I heard that not all women can have an orgasm. Is this true? How do I know if I can or can't?

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