just can't do it!
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just can't do it!
| Sat, 11-06-2004 - 12:12pm |
Hi everyone:
i dunno how to start this question b/c i am rather embarrassed. Well, a little over a year ago me and my b/f broke up for a long time and in between i dated this other guy who ended up raping me one day even though he knew i was a virgin. I think that because of this i have a lot of issues when it comes to sex and i just do't know how to deal w/ them anymore. Me and my b/f have been back together for a while now but i am still very very insecure in bed. I can't even get on top. anyhow, sex is always fun for a guy regardless but i want to make it a lot of fun, not just for him but for me too. i have never had an orgasm and i would really like to. Does any one have nay suggestions as to how i can get over my fear and get on top? how can i be more creative and experimentative?(if that's a word) and how can i reach the big O? Do u guy think that i was raped have anything to do w/ my issues or am i just being silly?
i will apreciate any suggestions.
U can write to me at leidy101@yahoo.com
i dunno how to start this question b/c i am rather embarrassed. Well, a little over a year ago me and my b/f broke up for a long time and in between i dated this other guy who ended up raping me one day even though he knew i was a virgin. I think that because of this i have a lot of issues when it comes to sex and i just do't know how to deal w/ them anymore. Me and my b/f have been back together for a while now but i am still very very insecure in bed. I can't even get on top. anyhow, sex is always fun for a guy regardless but i want to make it a lot of fun, not just for him but for me too. i have never had an orgasm and i would really like to. Does any one have nay suggestions as to how i can get over my fear and get on top? how can i be more creative and experimentative?(if that's a word) and how can i reach the big O? Do u guy think that i was raped have anything to do w/ my issues or am i just being silly?
i will apreciate any suggestions.
U can write to me at leidy101@yahoo.com

Are you being silly, easy answer.....no!
I have to admit myself to having been a bit shy in bed when it came to getting on top but when I realised that the man I was with loved me, thought I was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and loved me for who I was, any inhibitions went away - especially when I saw how much he was enjoying me being ontop, that was a really great thing to see. (and also, it felt good for me too! =))
You ask how you can be more creative and experiment more to reach your orgasm (and perhaps be able to get on top), sex can be made so much fun, it depends what you are into but you can use feathers to tickle eachother even, you could straddle him purely for the reason that you want to pin him down and tickle him. Sit on his stomach. That way - you're not ontop for sex, you're ontop because you're going to make him writhe and laugh and also laugh with him. This can be fun and make you happy, when you're both laughing it should hopefully make you feel more secure, and - you're already ontop of him, so if he begins stroking you or touching you, you may feel a little more secure and then be able to go with the flow and stay ontop.
You do deserve every bit of happiness, remember that your boyfriend loves you and won't be judgemental of anything that happened and should be caring and understanding.
Make sure you have fun and stay happy.
-x-Robyn-x-
Although there is no need to be embarrassed by your traumatic situation back then, it IS something that we simply cannot avoid feeling self-conscience about anyway. That is understandable.
If anything, I'd suggest REALLY having a heart to heart with your bf about that before anything else. Nothing wrong at all with him that you DO have so much interest in him, but your experiences will likely leave you a bit inhibited compared to him anyway. Just my thoughts, its also what worked with me when talking with my wife about it when she and I first started romantically.
From both me & the Mrs., orgasms for women in our opinion is really easier than is being reported. Its really all a matter of completely enjoying yourself. You WILL have difficulty for now until you're able to move on adequately from your trauma. Once you're able to just 'relax' and simply enjoy your boyfriend, then it'll be that much easier to have that orgasm. I'm not accustomed to reading about cunnilingus or at least effective manual stimulation failing when it comes to orgasms for you ladies, so it might be time for some more foreplay if that wasn't enjoyable enough for you before. Letting go and just being selfish and getting as much enjoyment as you can for yourself, even for the moment, is usually THE trick that many ladies haven't tried when it comes to "trying" to reach orgasm. Just an observation, nothing more.
Hope the replies are helpful. Keep us updated. :)
C h a r a c t e r
above all else
Mr. Para
C H A R A C T E R
the only women i know who engage in oral and anal don't enjoy it and do it only to please their bf. of course all my gay guy friends LOVE anal and oral.
you do not need to answer if this is too personal.
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