"Just get it over with honey."

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
"Just get it over with honey."
18
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 10:51am

First of all I do love my boyfriend. Our sex life used to be amazing. Seriously the stories I had were wild and kinky and my orgasms were amazing. I always could brag about his talents because he was such a giving lover not caring about himself nearly as much as me. A couple months ago I decided to give him the only thing that he ever asked me for that I wouldn’t do. Anal. It was the biggest mistake of my life. Now all he wants is anal. Even if I tell him no he still just goes and does it. He doesn’t care about getting me off anymore. Every time he touches me I cringe now because I know it will end up with me having a sore ass and being sexually shafted from an orgasm.


I don’t even like having sex with him anymore. Nothing is fun. I tried talking to him about this but he wont listen. All he does is nod his head then tell me that he is a horrible boyfriend then leave. He used to be an amazing lover now things are the worst they have ever been and they aren’t getting better. On the odd occasion that he does get me off he complains the whole time and usually turns on the tv. I cant even orgasm to him anymore (which sucks becuase I get it about 3 or 4

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 10:58am

"I always could brag about his talents because he was such a giving lover not caring about himself nearly as much as me."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 11:50am

Welcome to the board, Charisse.

I've certainly never had a lover quit caring about my needs, and if I did encounter one -- he would be gone in a heartbeat!

It could be that your guy is over-joyed about these new activities and may be a little obsessed with the whole thing. The problem is, you're building up resentment, and he's not understanding of it. You really need to have a talk with him and let him know how you're feeling, no candy coating involved. If he's not willing to listen or change what's going on, then you need to make a decision about the way you want to be treated.

When done properly, anal sex shouldn't be painful. He's not only risking your relationship, but he could cause you physical harm if he's not allowing you to guide him during anal sex. He needs to take both of those things into consideration.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 12:40pm

No, most guys do not stop caring about their partner and there's nothing wrong with you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 12:58pm

There's one line in your original post that causes me great concern:


"Even if I tell him no he still just goes and does it."


You know what that's called. It's not something a caring partner would ever do. Get out now. BTW, there's nothing wrong with you, unless you decide to stay with a guy who rapes you.




Em





Black sig<
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 2:26pm

Ok ok this is getting too serious...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 6:06pm

He's offending you isn't he? Not taking no for an answer & not getting you off. So why worry about offending him? He's acking like a baby. It's all about him & nothing about you.


If he promises you'll go second, say "No, I want to go first.

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 8:03pm

You don't want to offend him yet he has no problem with offending you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 8:29pm

I think you've been given a lot of good advice here. You need to sit him down, outside of the bedroom and let him know how you feel. I don't know how you feel about having anal in the future, but I know that he's going to make you resentful enough that you won't be interested if he keeps this pace up.

I agree with the others -- he's already offending you and not respecting your decisions. Right now, you're letting him do that -- so when you say no, be sure that you mean it and stick to your decision.





iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 9:41pm

I agree with the good advice part!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Tue, 12-11-2007 - 6:00am
It is always okay to say no, even after you have already done something, if doing it makes you uncomfortable.







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