Just sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Just sex
5
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 11:25pm
I have a question about casual sex. Is there anything wrong with it? Also, why are there some people you can have casual sex with without feeling any attachment and others you do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: riese2002
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 11:59pm

If you feel there's nothing wrong with casual sex, then there's nothing wrong with it. It doesn't matter what other people think about it. You have to live your life within the boundaries of your own beliefs and morals. The beliefs of other people aren't your concern. As a mature adult, you have to make your own decisions about what is right and what is wrong.

Why do you become "attached" to some people that you have casual sex with, but not "attached" to others?......it's because you have "feelings" for the ones you become attached to....and more than likely you're hoping the "casual" sex will become something more serious. Unfortunately, that doesn't usually happen. Most women have a problem with attachment in a casual relationship......because women have a hard time separating sex from "love".

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: riese2002
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 12:53am
This is a question you have to answer for yourself. We all do. But I was never into casual sex so I don't think there is such a thing. Sharing your body with another person is NEVER a casual choice, IMO.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: riese2002
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 1:56am

>>Is there anything wrong with it?<<

That entirely depends on you and how you feel about it. Some people think that it is wrong, others think that it is perfectly fine. You have to make your own mind up about it.

I can think of some reasons that make frequent casual sex risky - STD's, potentially violence from the "unknown" partner, emotional distress from dealing with a sexual partner you don't know well - those are three that come to mind. These sort of reasons are usually avoided or minimised in a non-casual sex situation so there ARE reasons why some people might frown upon casual sex.

>>why are there some people you can have casual sex with without feeling any attachment and others you do?<<

These are emotions that you are talking about and these emotions rarely have any rhyme or reason to them. Why do you find one type of person attractive and not another? These is no clear answer to this. Obviously if you start finding this person that you are having casual sex with attractive, then there is something about them that you find attractive. Other people? Well, you can still have sex without attraction - after-all sex is basically just about putting a penis into a vagina. You don't have to be attracted to a person to be able to do that.

Again, how you feel about that is really up to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: riese2002
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 8:11am

Whether casual sex is right or wrong depends on how YOU feel about.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: riese2002
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 10:44am

Hey riese.

You already know that your own values determine whether or not something is right or wrong for you. That said, either you are actually for a moral compass on this issue or you (or even someone you know) are looking for justification for what you already believe about this.

Either way, yes, some feel that it is wrong according to their own morals or even those morals based upon Biblical values. Others have different standards that allow more freedom with the issue. Some believe in saving their own sexuality--body AND spirit--for someone special only, whereas others view it as purely physical and nothing more.

Too many different views/morals on the issue to say what is or isn't wrong. If you or anyone reading this are curious about that moral compass part of it all, many of us are here to testify our own experiences with that aspect as well.

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R