Just Sex VS. Making Love
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Just Sex VS. Making Love
| Fri, 09-07-2007 - 7:14pm |
Ok, so my AP and I were talking online last night when the chick that he had been sleeping with prior to us getting together called him wanting to get together for a "romp"...I am assuming. This girl would fall off the face of the earth until she wanted sex from him. So it led to this convo about how she was "just sex" compared to how with me it's more than that....it's "making love". Now how come my H is 30 and still doesn't get it but my 26 yr old AP does??!! It is "just sex" for H which is part of why I strayed but never did I imagine that my AP would get the difference. Anyways I am curious as to how all of you think about the differences are with the just sex vs making love debate?


Welcome to the board princess_spaffy.
"Anyways I am curious as to how all of you think about the differences are with the just sex vs making love debate?"
I'm not sure what debate you're talking about, but I do think there is a difference between just sex and making love. I also feel that a couple can do both. Some may consider it making love, others consider it having sex, but when you say "just sex" it gives the connotation of a hook up -- just for sex with no feelings or regard for the other person. That's not always my definition of "just sex".
Hubby and I certainly have feelings for each other, but we still hook up with each other for sex. We also make love. For me the difference is, I guess, the amount of tenderness during the act and where our concentration is at the time. We like all kinds of sex, so sometimes it's a quickie, sometimes it's down and dirty, other times it's slow and loving. No matter what, there is passion and focus on our partner. Some would consider those ingredients to be making love, not 'just sex'.
Also, when you say it was "just sex" for your H, how are you gathering that conclusion? What was your role in the sex acts between the two of you, and did you communicate your wants and desires to him? Sex can be "ho-hum" for any couple once the newness wears off. To keep the passion, both partners have to put work and effort into their sex life.
What seems to be different between you and your AP that makes it more than 'just sex' for the two of you? is he still having sex with this other woman as well?