Just a thought...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Just a thought...
6
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 8:56am
If a guy has occasional ED, does his desire increase or decrease? Is the feeling of possible failure again make him want to avoid sex altogether? Or does he want to "prove" himself?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 9:21am
Occasionally not being able to get an erection is not ED.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 9:39am

The occasional loss of an erection has nothing to do with "desire". Women who don't know better think they lose it because they're not interested.....when in reality, if they weren't interested, they wouldn't have gotten the erection in the first place.

What happens next depends entirely on the man. A knowledgeable man knows it happens to every man occasionally, and doesn't think twice about it. A man who doesn't know his own body might get upset or worried about it, and cause what's called a "self fulfilling prophecy".....meaning he's so worried it will happen again, that it DOES happen again, caused by the worrying. Then it can become a vicious circle.

A man's erection (and ejaculation) is controlled by his brain (Unless he has a physical problem), just as a woman's orgasm originates in the brain. If either sex concentrates on worrying that it won't happen, it probably won't. The key is to relax and not worry about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 8:44pm
With my past experiences, I'd say no; temporary ED doesn't affect a man's desire. However, yes it may cause some temporary stress for the next few times, but a loving partner will ease the stress out of the situation. As a female, a temp ED issue will always make me work "harder", cause I'm known for always giving 110%. PS - the only way a man has to "prove" himself with me is talk honestly!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 12:19pm
Thank you all for your responses. Intellectually, I know that no one is to blame, but that little voice inside asks what I did wrong. But, of course, I have a tendency to blame myself if it rains...lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 12:50pm
On occasion, but not often (thank God), I have experienced times of not being able to maintain an erection long enough to finish. The reasons for it has been largely due to stress and/or being tired. It was very frustrating. However, it never dampened my desire. DW was understanding and we worked through it. Sometimes I would put pressure on myself to be able to perform and satisfy her, but the best thing that worked for me was to just relax and eventually everything was back to normal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2005
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 6:06pm

It definitely doesn't work 100% of the time, but that's not erectile dysfunction. When I really tired, or stressed, or whatever, it doesn't always get that hard or stay that way. But if I understand your question, for sure he'd want to have another go at it. I just wouldn't bring up his apparent inability to get the job done.

Most often everything works fine. Sometimes I don't have a very stiff erection but can have a big orgasm. Sometimes I can have a rock-hard erection and it doesn't orgasm. It's totally normal for it not to be perfect all the time. Really!