kinda embarrasing
Find a Conversation
kinda embarrasing
| Fri, 11-05-2004 - 9:48am |
Hey all. Ok so like a couple people on this board, i have been on here for a while now and just been reading, listening, taking in advise...but I do have a small problem i have been trying to figure out how to solve....
my main problem is that i am one of those types of men who cum just a little to early during sex...my gf says its not a problem at all, but i mean if the roles were reversed and she was always cumming before me, i wouldnt mind AT FIRST. but i know after a while i would really want to orgasm during sex.
the foreplay is great between both of us, but im not sure, she is very tight and im not very small so its a tight squeeze and i dont know....sorry if im not making much sence, im kinda nervous posting all this...i dont normally ask about this kind of thing in a forum....anyways, any idea why i am like this or is this normal and im doing something wrong or what? thanks,
Jamie

Pages
"if the roles were reversed and she was always cumming before me, i wouldnt mind AT FIRST." well, i find that statement a bit unclear... most of the times women do cum before men, during foreplay when her clitoris is well stimulated. if you want to make sure she's satisfied, i'd suggest you give her orgasm(s) during foreplay, plus this way she's well-lubricated. then with the penetration you could stimulate her g-spot and/or clitoris (or neither), knowing that she's already very happy, you don't have to feel "bad" about being quick. you two are both satisfied, that's what counts.
if you really want to last longer, try practising. slow down or stop when you feel like cumming, then continue... you can practice solo or with her.
hope this helps.
Glad you came out of lurking and decided to post.
You might try using the start and stop method of masturbation where you masturbate almost to orgasm but stop. Then slowly you build to that point again and stop. With time, you should learn what triggers your orgasm and learn how to hold back. As long as you make sure that she is enjoying foreplay to orgasm,at least once, then the pressure won't be there to last long enough and you may find that solves the problem for you.
And if you will spend most of your foreplay time on HER, building her almost to orgasm before penetration, then your arousal levels will be more in sync when you move to intercourse and she won't require as much time.
But really, unless your GF is unhappy and not being fulfilled, I wouldn't assume anything. The point is that at the end of the night you're both happy....does it really matter that it's at the same time?
If you understand the difference between men and women......physically AND emotionally, you'd realize that when it comes to orgasms.....there is NO comparison. Men build to their climax, then release, then need recovery time to do it again. If a man reaches that point, and then for some reason CAN'T ejaculate, he's got a problem. It can be painful. Women can have multiple orgasms with no recovery time, but if a woman has sex and comes close to orgasm, but it doesn't happen, it's not a big deal. Some women NEVER have orgasms, but they can and do completely enjoy sexual acivity. Emotionally, it can be frustrating, but once a woman learns HOW to have orgasms, she'll have them, and enjoy them.
In your second post you said: "well what normally happens is i give her about 3-4 orasms before we even have sex...but i dont know...i just love the thought of the fact that i can make my woman cum during sex and it just really gets to me when i cant". I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you don't GIVE her orgasms, because if she doesn't know how to have them, there is nothing you can do to MAKE her have them. Your g/f knows how to have them, and you help her get there. You will never MAKE her have an orgasm during "sex" (meaning intercourse......because it's ALL sex, from the first kiss to the end). If you understand women's anatomy......women don't usually have orgasms from intercourse alone, because there's little or no feeling in the vagina....except the opening & the "g" spot. If you want her to have an orgasms during intercourse, then one of you or your position should be stimulating her clitoris at the same time. THAT is what will give her orgasms.
Bottom Line: Orgasms are not as important to women as they are to men. Yes, they love having them, but if they don't, they can still enjoy sex. What takes the pleasure out of sex is being with a partner that won't accept what you tell them. She says she's satisfied, so believe her. In fact, if you lighten up on her, i.e.: take the pressure off her to "perform for you".......the mutual orgasm might even happen eventually.
my gf has told me that she has no problem with me cumming quickly, or before her. as i said in my original post, thats ok for a while, but it hits me hard mentally when it happens. this is partially because she has told me that with every person she has ever been with, she has ALWAYS had an orgasm with intercourse, no matter what was done before, foreplay wise. so this is some added pressure on me.
now, im not sure if this matters at all, but with my ex gf, we used to have sex with my wearing a condom and the majority of the time, we did orgasm at almost the same time...but heres the difference between the 2.
1. i wore a condom with her which reduces the pleasure and makes you last longer. my current gf is on the pill and thus we have no need for it
2. my current gf is much tighter than my ex, so once again, increasing the pleasure on my part.
i do do the start and stop method, but i just dont understand why i should have to when many men do not have to do that. they can go the 3-5 minutes without stopping. me, i can normally last about 1.5 - 2 minutes at best, but alot of the time its much less becuase i am very excited.
Good Luck
Pages