kinda embarrasing
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kinda embarrasing
| Fri, 11-05-2004 - 9:48am |
Hey all. Ok so like a couple people on this board, i have been on here for a while now and just been reading, listening, taking in advise...but I do have a small problem i have been trying to figure out how to solve....
my main problem is that i am one of those types of men who cum just a little to early during sex...my gf says its not a problem at all, but i mean if the roles were reversed and she was always cumming before me, i wouldnt mind AT FIRST. but i know after a while i would really want to orgasm during sex.
the foreplay is great between both of us, but im not sure, she is very tight and im not very small so its a tight squeeze and i dont know....sorry if im not making much sence, im kinda nervous posting all this...i dont normally ask about this kind of thing in a forum....anyways, any idea why i am like this or is this normal and im doing something wrong or what? thanks,
Jamie

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A few things in your post, first off, YOU have to stop worrying and thinking about what happened sexually with your g/f and other men she was with.
My DH had this problem when we first became intimate and we solved it by my not stimulating him during foreplay at all. After a while, the problem resolved itself. You simply cannot assume that most men can thrust aggressively for a protracted length of time, without orgasming, because they can't.
I think you need to ask your GF NOT to share quite so much useless information with you, since it only serves to make you feel pressured and insecure. Plus, I don't know too many people, men or women, who enjoy being compared to past lovers.
Just recently it started getting better. You have to kind of train yourself in a way to hold your orgasm. There's a point of no return and you can't get to that point if you want to last long.
I'll make a suggestion ...when you two have sex..why don't you try going very slow at the beginning, work your way up to speed but then slow down again...if you keep doing that..you'll start to last longer.
It's helped my bf...today he went for something like 45 minutes..after times when he was going for like...a minute...it's a big difference and it's WAY more fun that way cuz you'll get to try differen't things..you'll have the time lol.
Good Luck.
once again though, thanks all for the help
There are ways such as pulling down on your testicles when you feel yourself close to cumming or indeed slowing down. As someone else mentioned, if you begin sex slowly and gently so you're both pleasured but you aren't getting so worked up you can't help yourself, but start slow and savour it and then get faster and stronger more gradually then you can both experience passionate sex, if you feel too close to climaxing for comfort, and too soon, then slow down a bit again and maybe pull out of her for a moment and push back in. That will keep her happy as she will be penetrated again and it may give you that moment you need to hold off the orgasm. You can do that quite a few times during sex and hopefully it would keep you both happy.
The main thing is not to worry too much. There are so many ways that people can enjoy themselves having sex. You said you can make her orgasm many times in foreplay, well that alone will make her happy. Yes it is amazing to both cum (not necessatily at the same time) while having sex. You can both cum at different times. If you do cum before her the chances are that she loves you so much that she will be just as happy that *you* came as if she'd cum herself. You can then take a little breather and try again as perhaps a second time you will be more calmed and relaxed after your first orgasm and will be able to go for a little longer.
The main thing is, don't let yourself feel sad, sex is meant to be an enjoyable and great thing, it would be more upsetting for her to see you upset and kicking yourself than it would be for her not to cum.
I hope that this helps...
-x-Robyn-x-
"There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness. New lovers are nervous and tender, but smash everything. For the heart is an organ of fire. Every night I cut out my heart. But in the morning it was full again. We die, we die rich with lovers and triumphs, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have... entered and swum up like rivers."
I also think that it's something that will eventually solve itself. Over time you should be able to get used to the sensations and I think that you will eventually find that you can control yourself better.
You could try masturbating by yourself more. That will take the edge off your desire to orgasm a little bit when you do have sex with her later in the day. Of course, if it affects your desire to have sex with her then you might reconsider it!
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