Know anything about asexuality?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Know anything about asexuality?
7
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 9:09am

Most adults are sexual creatures. We are straight or gay or bi, and we have urges that need to be fulfilled.

I also understand that there are asexual people out there, by which I mean they aren't interested in sex, period (and I don't mean feeling this way for health or emotional reasons, etc.). Does anyone know anything about this? I have questions like: what percentage of the population do they make up; as a group, do they wish they were more normally sexual, or do they just not miss what they don't have an urge for?

Just curious.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 9:34am

I don't know numbers, or percentages, or anything else about the subject, but I have known TWO men who were totally asexual. They were both co-workers (at different jobs), and I never could figure them out.

One was in his late 30's, a "genius", a computer/electronics geek before the first PC ever came out. He was only interested in the company (he was the General Manager), didn't have the greatest personal hygiene (he'd come to work 3-4 days in a row in the same clothes, because he said he'd been up all night on his computers...he had 7 or eight of them). I got along fine with him, but very few other people did. He had no personal friends, no siblings, and his parents were both gone. On occasion, he would invite me to join him for dinner (dutch). No one had ever been inside his home, even though he owned a home in a very luxurious neighborhood, a financial investment to him, nothing more. I lost track of him after I changed jobs.

Another guy I worked with was the opposite....in his mid 50's, beautiful dresser, very particular about himself, tailored shirts and suits, tasteful jewelry. He was a salesman in a carpet store. He had an older brother, neither of them ever married. They lived at home with Mama till the day she died. This guy, I always suspected of being a "closet" homosexual....but I'm sure he never "acted" on it. He was a very devout Catholic, and his friends were priests and nuns. He even vacationed with them. If a gay guy or couple came in shopping for carpeting, he would follow them around, and talk about nothing else for the rest of the day. If they actually bought carpeting, he would be the one to go to their home to measure the rooms. Then he'd babble on and on about their beautiful home, and describe their decor in detail. (his own home was nothing but the best, according to him, I never saw it) I asked him once if he'd ever been on a date and he said no. He developed physical problems, and died at age 60.

I thought both those guys were very sad, but it was their choice. One wonders if there ever was an "urge" or curiosity. Maybe it was physical. Some people are born with both genders, I suppose it's possible for others to be born with no gender!

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 11:28am

I have no idea what the percentages are, but I'd venture to say that there are more than we know or would expect. I'm sure many people have sex because society says they should or to please a partner, not because they're truly driven to seek it.

I know that in the Bible it talks about asexuality as being a particular gift. And not being driven or affected by this desire or physical urge COULD be considered a gift if you were dedicated to something larger than yourself. I'm certain that a nun or priest would consider asexuality to be a gift.




Edited 2/23/2006 11:50 am ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2005
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 7:16pm

I've never heard nor read anything about people who were born

Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 7:32pm
I have never known anyone who was truly asexual, but I have heard that they do exist. It is too bad that the Catholic Church did not seek them out as priests. They would not have had the tremendous scandles that they have had. I do believe that sexual satisfaction is a "gift of nature."
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 7:43pm
Not sure on this, but I think I've read before it's 1 percent that are. However, there are times someone may seem asexual, but it's merely physical, like someone said. Or even just a psychological problem.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 11:20am

Here's a website talking about that, it might answer some of your questions:

http://asexuality.org/

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 5:38am

Thanks for the link. I find the site quite interesting.

Greg