Ladies- Do your friends know his size???

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Ladies- Do your friends know his size???
121
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 6:21pm

Hi Everyone.. Ok before you start replying that this is just another post about penis size... well ok it is but in a different way.. we all know many (if not most) of us guys are size focused much to the confusion or amusement of you ladies.

But we also know that when the girls get together, more info and juicy detail gets discussed than you might otherwise lead on. Other boards here would confirm that one!

So my question is.. When talking with your girlfriends, Do you ladies talk or tell each other about your man's size, whether positively or negatively. Or in more of a general way, have you talked about the notable ones in your past you miss or ones that you just encountered?

Then the follow-up question is that have you ever increased the size more than it really was for the fun of the story?

Basically.. I want an inside view into how much the girl talk really involves size discussion (even if you would make the claim that Size doesn't matter to you!!)

This is open to all you ladies, younger or older, married or single. It doesn't have to be a recent discussion.. just any type of this discussion in your experience.

Look forward to reading the responses.

Curiousniceguy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 9:38pm

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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 11:25pm

Unless I'm shopping around for another penis, then why do I need to know a friend's BF or spouses' penis size? Has nothing to do with me or our friendship.

I think too many think that being indiscreet equals being open in general. It doesn't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 6:04am

Kat, I'm surprised at your response! I didn't think that you of all people would EVER shop around for a penis! I thought we were from the same mold...."A man is not his penis....his size is irrelevant as HE has whatever God has given him....etc., etc."

(Just teasing...but oh the imagery of a woman shopping for a penis.... ;-))

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 9:54am
You're exactly right and that's why I would never be asking a friend to reveal her partner's size or sharing my DH's! Makes no difference to me whatsoever...in casual conversation or otherwise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 10:48am
"Why is it so important to impress or get the approval of one's friend's". Who said anything about approval? I remember a gal ,where I once worked, talking about how long her DH`s toes were...Odd conversation, yes but at the time she was in her 50`s..Today, I think people are less inhibited. IMHO many "virtues" were a result of victorian principles which rang with inhibition. Remember the swimsuits of the 20`s 30`s 40`s and 50`s? they were pretty "virtuous." Times change and attitudes change. For the better? Time will tell. Women now vote (didnt always) women now are expected to enjoy sex (used to be wrong for them to enjoy sex)Change isnt always a bad thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 10:55am
I think rainy had it right ..It just might be curiousity.. But for a reason..Maybe a woman isnt having good sex with her husband, and maybe she thinks his size is to blaime(lots of misinformation out there). If her friend is having good sex, a typical question might come up(no pun intended)
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 12:31pm

Yes, but as Tish pointed out, curiosity killed the cat!

Look, I totally understand curiosity, being a very inquisitive person myself, BUT there is a point when curiosity is no excuse for asking such questions. It's just none of anyone's business.

Obviously, we are talking about differing sensibilities here.

"Maybe a woman isn't having good sex with her husband, she thinks his size is to blame...."

So, in other words, ignorance breeds ignorance. IF the woman asking the question hears that her friend's husband is HUGE, whether it's true or not, it's only going to make matter worse and is perpetuating the ignorance about the importance of size.

I agree that sharing valid, potentially helpful information and personal experience is fine and can benefit someone with little to no sexual experience. That's what we do on this board as well, but sharing intimate physical details about one's partner in a casual conversation is totally unnecessary and disrespectful to both your partner and relationship. Sorry, my DH's body isn't going to be watercooler fodder for the girls to giggle over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 2:06pm

As the owner of the mind that concocted this question, I admit that I am astounded at the serious tone the discussion has taken. Perhaps this topic splits opinions along generational lines. What one generation considers indiscretion another considers liberation or sexual openness.

I am genuinely surpirsed that the replies made it an issue of moral character, a question of respect for present or past partners or an issue of personal boundaries.

My intention was to ask a playful question essentially about real and raw "Girl Talk" as it relates to the subject MANY (I might say MOST) men consider noteworthy or, at the very least, of interest.

I would ask that you consider that despite having heard over and over that “size doesn’t matter to an honest woman” or “what is really much more important than size is the true connection and emotional intimacy” (both of which are certainly true), even the most confident of men still remains fervently curious about what women think about this subject. Fundamentally, as with all my questions, I was seeking an opportunity to learn about what women share with their girlfriends in a context which, as a man, I would never be privy to.

I think some of the responses demonstrate that on the surface, male and female minds seem to work differently with regard to sexuality and related subjects. Many responses said they would consider speaking about the anatomical prowess or shortcomings of their men (past or present) a violation of trust, respect and intimacy of their partners or that it was unclear why anyone would want to know about this subject.

I would just ask in response, do you believe that your men at one point or another, as loving or as respectful as they may be, have not described to their close friends the full and complete description of their past or present partners’ unique physical attributes, either positively or negatively? Do you think that men, when speaking about their sexual histories or their current sex life, talk about intimacy and emotional connection but leave out explicit details? Do you think that when he is just with the guys and swapping stories about the best sex they’ve ever had (and we do have these conversations) he doesn’t offer graphic play by play?

If you answered or thought “yes” to any of these questions, I might be concerned. As a loving and genuinely kindhearted husband and father, with many guy friends and many years of hanging out under my belt, I can attest that men do commonly share the great detail of sexual exploits, encountered remarkable physical features, both positive and negative, and the activities or characteristics that made one partner better than the rest. I do admit that many times the men would rather that their partners not know just how much they have passed along. However, I believe that, over a beer, perhaps on the golf course or behind the closed door of the office, many tales are told.

I say this not to be combative or at all misogynistic. Rather I am suggesting that perhaps this subject isn’t quite that serious particularly when you consider that men commonly share the equivalent detail. This is not to say men hope you talk about their less than impressive attributes but I am not certain that men would approach the nature of this subject in general from the same perspective.

Basically, it boils down to whether content of “girl talk” has to differ from “guy talk” Ok…..perhaps you would say it does because women think with the head on their shoulders while men think with the other one…. But given the topics and conversations on these IVillage message boards, this alone pretty clearly demonstrates that there might not be that much difference after all!

Just wanted to add my thoughts after reading the conversations.. Thank you everyone.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 4:25pm

I have already acknowledged that SOME women and men do talk graphically about their present or past partner's bodies and sexual exploits, in a casual way and feel there's nothing wrong with it.

I simply stated that my DH and I do not. We both feel it's a breach of trust & disrespectful to do so.

But your mistake is assuming that all men, in certain circumstances, are just like you and your friends. My DH has never discussed details of past partners with me or his male friends. We're in total agreement that it's inappropriate to do so. He would be terribly hurt if I shared those types of details with my GFs and so would I if he did so.

But to me and my girlfriends, there's a BIG difference in discussing sex in general and our partner's body in particular! And whether that's a generational thing or not is debatable. I was a teen in the 70's when sex was pretty open and free, especially since there were no such things as HIV-AIDS, herpes, etc. to be concerned about. No, I think it's more a matter of learning when to keep your mouth shut and details to yourself.




Edited 10/5/2006 4:59 pm ET by katmandoo2001
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 4:46pm

Okay, is it really necessary for me to KEEP repeating my initial response to the OP? I guess so!

My friends and I talk graphically about sex as a subject but we do not believe that we must disclose intimate details of our partner's anatomies in order to do that. We somehow manage to keep SOME things private and intimate and still have a great time. GO FIGURE!

If you and your wife choose not to, that's your choice but I don't have to believe it's hunky dory. There's plenty of room for all kinds of thoughts on the subject.

We have wonderful, hilarious & revealing conversations about everything under the sun, they just don't include how big or small our partner's penises are!

There IS an element of competition in these casual comparisons, or slight exhibitionism, or people wouldn't feel compelled to disclose such things.

So, gee, Hump, I guess if keeping my DH's penis size to myself is defined as "closed, not liberated or inhibited" in YOUR mind, so be it. I'll take it. We don't kiss and tell, never did.

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