Ladies: how important is penetration?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Ladies: how important is penetration?
18
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 7:31am

A recent post about how thoughts of penetration are important to someone's arousal got me thinking. Ladies, is actual penetration really important to you? If your partner could help you have multiple orgasms without penetration, would that be adequately satisfying to you, or do you need to feel him inside you at some point to have the best lovemaking?

Shere Hite's "The Hite Report" called this strong desire to be penetrated "vaginal ache". How about it, ladies? Is it important to you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 7:50am

Yes, it's very important to me.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 8:33am
Definitely. I often, even if I'm receiving oral or manual, crave and want penetration. The best orgasms I have are from penetration(both with and without clitorial stimulation). I know that science tells me that it's due to my "g spot," but my body tells me different. There's something deeper in the upper region of the vagina that when I'm very aroused, aches for stimulation. And yes, when I'm alone, or during sex, I often visualize penetration and giving oral, alternatively. So my answer is no, oral and manual alone would not be completely satisfying.
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 3:57pm

Yes, I agree, penetration is very important. It's just not satisfying if all I get is oral or manual stimulation. If I had to choose between ten minutes of oral sex that brought me to orgasm or one minute of intercourse that wasn't enough to get me there, I'd choose the intercourse hands down. And also in my case I hate penetration by anything other than a penis. I don't like fingers or toys. The feel is too hard and/or too cold, I never use any toys at all.

And sometimes I even crave ORAL penetration in the same type of way. I can come very close to orgasm from GIVING oral.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:33pm

Of course, it's important to me but it's not THE most important physical need I have when aroused. I crave the skin on skin contact of sex.

Penetration is the closest that I can physically get to my DH, having him inside my body, so it's very important to both of us.

And while I enjoy penetration very much, we often have oral only nights which are every bit as intimate and pleasurable as intercourse for both of us. And I don't typically experience multiple orgasms from penetration alone anyway.

However, the most intense emotional experiences with my DH have been during intercourse.




Edited 2/8/2006 4:50 pm ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:44pm
I agree with the other ladies - penetration is also important to me. I can get off from manual or oral stimulation to my clitoris, and I often get off very quickly that way, but I still desire penetration. Plus, my orgasms from intercourse (what I call "internal" orgasms - aka G-spot orgasms) are 10X better and more satisfying than clitoral ones.
If it's a clitoral orgasm, I can come multiple times and still crave more. With just one internal orgasm, I feel completely satisfied.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 5:30pm

Kat....I mis-read his post. He asks a two-part question. One, "Is penetration important to you?" and two, "Do you NEED to be penetrated?" I didn't realize that he said "need" to be penetrated as in "have to have it every single time." I answered the question as to why I would prefer penetration over oral/manual if I only had "one" choice between them, rather than do I ALWAYS have to be penetrated. I would have to still say that if I had a choice between oral/manual and penetration, I would still take penetration because I feel it would satisfy my physical needs the most; but if I had to say that I had to penetrated each and every time, my answer would be, no. As I said in my response: "I OFTEN...crave penetration..." that certainly doesn't mean always(it depends on the height of arousal). On a level of intimacy....I also agree with you, that oral and manual are equally as intimate as intercourse and I certainly do enjoy sessions that don't include intercourse at all. Thought, I'd clear that up for Mancreature, as well.

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 5:55pm
Gotcha, Rain. I love it all, too. I wouldn't want to give up any of it but penetration isn't necessary for me to experience pleasure. It's just one great part of a banquet of delights that we can offer one another.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 6:26am

I didn't realize how much I had missed penetration until recently when I resumed a sex life two years after having left my ex. Having a man inside makes me feel whole and complete, and while a dildo is pleasant and necessary, nothing compares to being held and made love to all at the same time. I have not had a lot of sexual partners in my life, but it does seem that the male is programmed to want to be inside his lover, and this female is totally programmed to want it!

Kate

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 6:38am
I refer again to Shere Hite's "Hite Report" and the topic of wishing to be penetrated. Some women in the book claimed that while they craved penetration, the actual act...whether with a penis, dildo, or whatever...actually lessened their arousal. It's as if their concentration was broken or some neural path was disrupted. Any experience with this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 8:38am
Yes, it is VERY important. Even if i don't orgasm. I just love the way my boyfriend feels inside of me.

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