Ladies, how many men have you allowed...
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Ladies, how many men have you allowed...
| Mon, 08-14-2006 - 7:54pm |
Ladies, how many men have you allowed to have anal sex with you?
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I'm sorry, but this is an example of extremely poor phrasing. Why would any woman "allow" a man to do anything to her? That implies that a woman is sacrificing comfort or dignity to appease someone, and that should *never* happen in the bedroom. I think a better choice of phrasing would be "How many ladies have had anal sex?" Why would you assume that women aren't enjoying it just as much as their partners? I've known women to talk their partners *into* it.
Again, so much for sex being an egalitarian activity.
I hear your point that the language conveys a certain passivity and going along with. However, in my opinion you are overstating the point. Although in some cases women may be the instigators of anal sex, I have found initially men are indeed the ones that ask to do this act. Women that come to this board with questions about anal are often considering it after their husband or boyfriends expressed interest. So in most instances, at least at first, the men ask and the women either allow it to happen or not. If this becomes a part of the couples sex life on a more regular basis, then it is likely both parties instigate it.
>> I think a better choice of phrasing would be "How many ladies have had anal sex?"
Your phrasing does not convey the question the poster is asking. The better (i.e. more egalitarian) phrasing would be "How many men have you had anal sex with?"
'The better (i.e. more egalitarian) phrasing would be "How many men have you had anal sex with?"'
It occurred to me after I hit "post" that my rephrasing messed with the semantics of the poster's question. I was too lazy to edit it at the time :-P Yes, it does connote that a woman is merely "putting up with it" rather than engaging in sex with their partner. It makes about as much sense as saying "Ladies, how many men have you allowed to put their penis in your vagina?"
As far as anal and women goes, it can be a fantastic experience if a woman's body is properly prepared for it, which can take months, and, in some cases, *years*--gradually using larger and larger toys that are exciting without being uncomfortable--"dilating" the anus, as it were. Some women can orgasm from anal stimulation alone, and for others it's the only way they can have a g-spot orgasm. Perhaps you already knew this; I don't mean to presume. I just wanted to emphasize how wonderful it *can* be for women if the guy they're with cares about making the experience pleasurable for their partner and wants it to be a mutually desired sex act. I'm betting that most of the guys who broach the subject with their wives/girlfriends only want to know how to make it painless, or as comfortable as possible, for their partner and don't give a flying fig about whether or not their partner truly wants to have anal because it's something she's interested in doing for her own sake. I've heard more than a few stories along these lines. And I'm not going to write a soapboxy novel about how egregiously selfish that is and how the women who go along should get some self-respect and tell their parner-cum-jerk to eff off. (Some other time ;-)
A "decent guy" would be just as interested in his partner's pleasure as his own. A decent guy would broach the subject because he thinks it's something *both* of them could enjoy. A decent guy would not proceed if he didn't think his partner was enjoying herself.
I don't know why not raping a woman makes a guy "decent", as if he's really putting himself out there, practicing restraint by not forcing himself on a woman. What a great guy, he didn't rape me! *rolls eyes*
I voted I had anal sex with
Let's rephrase it to how many men have you engaged in anal sex with.
Which is what the OP was asking
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