Ladies, how many men have you allowed...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
Ladies, how many men have you allowed...
20
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 7:54pm

Ladies, how many men have you allowed to have anal sex with you?



  • 0
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9 or more


You will not be able to change your vote.


Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 1:33am

I'm sorry, but this is an example of extremely poor phrasing. Why would any woman "allow" a man to do anything to her? That implies that a woman is sacrificing comfort or dignity to appease someone, and that should *never* happen in the bedroom. I think a better choice of phrasing would be "How many ladies have had anal sex?" Why would you assume that women aren't enjoying it just as much as their partners? I've known women to talk their partners *into* it.

Again, so much for sex being an egalitarian activity.

Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 2:57pm

I hear your point that the language conveys a certain passivity and going along with. However, in my opinion you are overstating the point. Although in some cases women may be the instigators of anal sex, I have found initially men are indeed the ones that ask to do this act. Women that come to this board with questions about anal are often considering it after their husband or boyfriends expressed interest. So in most instances, at least at first, the men ask and the women either allow it to happen or not. If this becomes a part of the couples sex life on a more regular basis, then it is likely both parties instigate it.

>> I think a better choice of phrasing would be "How many ladies have had anal sex?"

Your phrasing does not convey the question the poster is asking. The better (i.e. more egalitarian) phrasing would be "How many men have you had anal sex with?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 4:05pm
I do not like the phase "allowed". I have such sex when I want it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 5:14pm

'The better (i.e. more egalitarian) phrasing would be "How many men have you had anal sex with?"'

It occurred to me after I hit "post" that my rephrasing messed with the semantics of the poster's question. I was too lazy to edit it at the time :-P Yes, it does connote that a woman is merely "putting up with it" rather than engaging in sex with their partner. It makes about as much sense as saying "Ladies, how many men have you allowed to put their penis in your vagina?"

As far as anal and women goes, it can be a fantastic experience if a woman's body is properly prepared for it, which can take months, and, in some cases, *years*--gradually using larger and larger toys that are exciting without being uncomfortable--"dilating" the anus, as it were. Some women can orgasm from anal stimulation alone, and for others it's the only way they can have a g-spot orgasm. Perhaps you already knew this; I don't mean to presume. I just wanted to emphasize how wonderful it *can* be for women if the guy they're with cares about making the experience pleasurable for their partner and wants it to be a mutually desired sex act. I'm betting that most of the guys who broach the subject with their wives/girlfriends only want to know how to make it painless, or as comfortable as possible, for their partner and don't give a flying fig about whether or not their partner truly wants to have anal because it's something she's interested in doing for her own sake. I've heard more than a few stories along these lines. And I'm not going to write a soapboxy novel about how egregiously selfish that is and how the women who go along should get some self-respect and tell their parner-cum-jerk to eff off. (Some other time ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 7:30pm
Didn't mean to stir up a hornet's nest with the phrasing of my question. The reason I used the term "allowed" is because I know a woman who was anally raped, and I wanted to find out how many different partners everyone had willingly had anal sex with (as opposed to being forced into it). Most men want to at least try anal sex, but alot of women are still not interested in it. For the women who are excited about it, that's fantastic! But in any case, it should always be up to the woman whether or not it happens because no decent man should ever force himself upon a woman.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 7:53pm

A "decent guy" would be just as interested in his partner's pleasure as his own. A decent guy would broach the subject because he thinks it's something *both* of them could enjoy. A decent guy would not proceed if he didn't think his partner was enjoying herself.

I don't know why not raping a woman makes a guy "decent", as if he's really putting himself out there, practicing restraint by not forcing himself on a woman. What a great guy, he didn't rape me! *rolls eyes*

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 7:14am

I voted I had anal sex with


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 9:31am
OMG...cool it people...
Let's rephrase it to how many men have you engaged in anal sex with.
Which is what the OP was asking
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 10:17am
One guy. Did a few times. Didn't really care for it.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 10:48am
Oh please, you KNOW what he means. It was just a poor choice of wording on his part. Geeze!

Pages