ladies i need help
Find a Conversation
ladies i need help
| Thu, 11-22-2007 - 3:07am |
ok, heres my situation. my girlfriend and i have been together for 8 months now. we have a great sex life for the most part. but the only bitch is shell like tease me, like "play with me" and shell make me "touch her" this will happen several times while were watchin tv or just layin in bed. then when i try to make a move she pushes my hand away and says not now. and then when it comes time for the tv to go off. well start cudling and then shell tell me that shes not in the mood. so now heres my problem. is there a clue that im not getting, or is she just down right being a tease with me. and theres no just letting me get mine when shes not in the mood. its when she wants to or theres none at all. so now heres another question. what should i do? should i start turning her down when she wants to have sex, or just be a pansy and just give in. because everytime she pulls this crap i get soooo pissed off. so ladies i need some advice.

Here is the clue:
Alot of women like attention, like to touch and be touched, without it leading to sex. It assures us that you aren't out for "one thing", and it makes us feel loved.
The other clue:
Some women see sex as power, rather than intimacy.
Hard to tell which one it is, but I would assume the best and try to respond as if it is the first and see how that goes.
"and theres no just letting me get mine when shes not in the mood."
Go take a shower and masturbate. The quickest way to kill a woman's sex drive is to expect her to have sex with you whether she feels like it or not.
"should i start turning her down when she wants to have sex, or just be a pansy and just give in"
Turning sex into a game of manipulation is a really stupid idea. If you start turning her down to show that you aren't a "pansy", you will likely be masturbating a whole lot more than you bargained for.
It's sex for crying out loud. If she wants it and you want it, then have it and enjoy it, lol.
That would piss me off too if
Welcome to the board, rebman2005.
I can see how that would be upsetting. Do you try to initiate taking things further during the same time period that she is "teasing" you, or are you finishing your show and trying later? If you're waiting, it could be that you should take advantage of the opportunity when it presents itself. She may be in the mood at that moment, but an hour or so later, when the movie is over, she may have lost her interest, become tired, etc.
Regardless of when this is occurring, I think it would be wise for the two of you to talk about what's going on -- outside of the bedroom. Find a time that you can sit and discuss this, no accusations, and try to get to an understanding that both of you can agree on. Perhaps if she is just interested in being close but not sexual, she should try just laying her head on your shoulder, but not caressing you and things like that. Maybe develop a list of what you consider "sexual advances" and have her do the same. Discuss those things with the idea of breaking anything that might appear as teasing.
I agree with the members that are saying don't make a game out of it. That won't do anything but build frustration and resentment for both of you. It could be that she doesn't realize what she's doing. It could be that she has good intentions, but looses her mojo along the way. If she's doing it for "control", then setting up those guidelines should nix that as well.
Good luck, and let us know how things go.
Meet BOB, My New Best Friend!
follow me to my partners in the siggy exchange:
DIY Brides ~ Betrayed Girlfriends Support