Ladies: Preference question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Ladies: Preference question.
46
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 10:48pm

Ladies, which do you prefer to give to your partner, a BJ or a handjob...and why?

Greg

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 4:55pm
I think very few guys are talented enough to be able to give themselves a blowjob!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2007
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 5:27pm
Definitely a BJ. He loves it and I love doing it. But I would do a hand job too!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2006
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 8:59pm
A BJ is must more satisfying.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 11:55pm
Where did I say that? I said they can give themselves handjobs! Meaning I prefer giving BJ's...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 6:19am
Sakura, I think what Rice was trying to address was the implication that just because a man can manually stimulate himself, that there is no **need** for his woman to. But yet, if the tables were turned and a man even suggested the same thing "Why bother stimulating her manually, when she can do that herself.", the women on this board would be all over him for not **providing** foreplay. I know that I can manually stimulate myself, but what does that have to do with desiring my husband to? I do not see why the two have to be mutually exclusive....they can and do co-exist. ;-)
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 11:06am
I KNOW what you said and I teasingly said that only the most "capable" would be able to give self BJ's. Not many guys are that talented -- including me!! But I do enjoy cleaning her up after I have cum in her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 8:43pm

Thanks, Rain, it's almost like you read my mind. I had actually composed a post very similar to yours, but deleted it because I was afraid of stirring things up. Much better for a woman to point out the inconsistency. The reason I posted the question was that so many of the woman had a negative attitude about manually stimulating a man. I mean, if the women HERE don't care for it, what hope is there for men who are with women with even less interest in sex? LOL

As far as it being a double standard, I don't think that I ever had sex without providing some manual stimulation before, during, and sometimes after (i.e. gave her a 'hand job'). Actually, I don't think that there are many men who, when in a passionate embrace with a woman, can resist the temptation to let his hand roam down to between her legs. It's usually an urge that has to be resisted, not encouraged, LOL. I know that women have different attitudes toward sex than men, but it would be an understatement to say that it's discouraging that most women don't seem to have the same urge. I think I can count on the fingers of one hand (pardon the expression) the number of times I had a woman 'taken me in hand', if you know what I mean. I know that you're supposed to ask for what you want, but the thought of asking a woman to touch my penis felt so, so, juvenile. It didn't help that the first time I put a woman's hand on my erect penis, through my jeans no less, she pulled her hand away and said that she thought she was going to throw up. I guess it goes without saying that I didn't do that again for a long, long time.

Anyway, thanks again for the understanding, and for listening to another of my rants.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 3:54am
Dandi, just what exactly about a blow job do you think is "juvenile? That only kids would like doing that? I read your post about your time restraints. I also read your dislike for oral as an act all to itself....Many people see oral sex as a giving act. To let your mate relax and receive great pleasure is a very giving thing to do. Whats not to like about that? Its not about him being dominate, just the opposite.The woman is in control, and he is as submissive as he can get.....By the way ladies, a skillfully given hand job ,may not be as exotic as a blow job, but it can feel awesome with lube and some imagination.


Edited 3/14/2007 4:11 am ET by humpdaddy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 6:23am

Anytime, Rice...

...however.....there are just as many men who do not have the "urge" to touch women as there are women....and I, as a woman, have always had the urge and freely acted on it.

In the least, there may be an explanation why women do it....but as for why men wouldn't...well.... ;-)

You see, Rice....when you are having sex with young men there really isn't much time. The goal is to detain orgasm, not induce it.... ;-) Many of them are goal oriented (they prefer intercourse) and they have little qualms about showing it. Soooooo.....many women are under the "belief" that manual is the last thing that a man needs or desires. Back in your time (and mine), there wasn't much to go on. Many assumptions were made with respect to how each of our bodies worked based on our actions. Thank goodness for the internet, huh?

Anyhow....like you, I was always the one who "primed" the man manually....and yep, they were always orgasming on me within two or three minutes (if not by manual or oral) after proceeding to intercourse. I did without (and I'm not alone) because for many men, when it's over, it's over. At least most men will orgasm either way (during intercourse).....so yeah, Rice....stop the ranting already.... you sound like a woman who complains that she can't gain weight... ;-) (I'm just playing with ya.)




Edited 3/14/2007 6:30 am ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 1:26pm
humpdaddy,
Lets just say that every relationship has it's own currancy with checks and balances. I have my own ways of being giving and selfless with my DH, just don't involve BJ's and HJ's. I'll leave my explanation at that.


Edited 3/14/2007 1:32 pm ET by danidi