Ladies would you be mad

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Ladies would you be mad
6
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 10:27pm
Hello to all,ladies I need your help with this..My wife never seems to start the sex,I always have to...I'm not complaining about the sex it is great,but I have ask her if sometimes she would be the aggreser...she never seems to want to take the roll...My question,if I were to give her something without her knowing it that would get her hot and wanting me bad to where I wouldn't have to worry about who started the act...Would this make you women mad or would it be ok........My next question,is there anything out there that is safe with no side effects...I'm not up on stuff like that...I don't want to give her anything that would hurt her....Just a little kick to make her make the move instead of me all the time...thanks to all for your replys
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 10:53pm

Surely you can't be serious? Would I be mad if my husband slipped me a drug without me knowing? Absolutely. However, my DH would never dream of doing such an underhand act.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 12:47am

Initiating sex doesn't come from drugs.....it comes from lack of inhibition.

You need to TALK to her....and get her to open up to you about why she's so inhibited. It's understandable that you get tired of being the one who intiates all the time. It probably makes you wonder if she's all that interested, or just doing it to please you. TELL her that.

Many women are inhibited about their sexual feelings, and it's HARD for them to be the aggressor. They're taught as young girls that they should be a "good girl", and that men don't like "fast" women. It's very hard to overcome that kind of sexual repression.

The best way to solve the problem is to discuss it......without being accusing.....just telling her how you feel, and what you'd like her to do to change things, or spark things up a little. Tell her how happy that would make you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 11:29am

Two things wrong (IMO) I see here:

1. There's no 'thing' or substance you can give her. Love and affection usually work well.

2. Slipping something like a 'sex mickey', that's not nice at all. I would be enraged.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 12:07pm

First of all, if your sex is great, who cares who initiates, if it is something you would like then you have to tell her exactly how you feel about it?


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2004
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 12:22pm

I'm assuming you have been married for quite a while? It can be really difficult for a woman to initiate and if she hasn't so far then I think that's her personality...or how she has been taught to behave. I'm 41 and NOT an initiator, at least not blatantly so. I can't imaging just unzipping his pants and going to town...It wouldn't be me.

Maybe, like me, she initiates in more subtle ways and you are not picking up on that? I'll wear new lingerie to bed when I'm in the mood (or let him know I just bought something new), or take an evening shower and come out in a towel and ask him to help w/ the lotion, or I'll open a bottle of wine after the kids are in bed...put my feet in his lap and ask him to massage them.... things go from there. It's the style I'm comfortable with. I guess you'd call it seduction rather than aggression. And DH is ok w/ that (he likes me to initiate too and understands that I have to do it my way).

All I'm saying is you may have to compromise--you may not get the lapdance you're craving but maybe you don't have to feel "pushy" either if she is initiating in a way where SHE is in control--her own way.

As for any drug--BAD IDEA!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 1:03pm

OMG You're kidding right?


Sharon

A friend is the person who kn