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| Mon, 10-22-2007 - 2:28pm |
I am new to this board and had a quick question about the guy that I have been dating. This past weekend we decided to take the next step in our relationship and have sex. The foreplay was amazing and actually everything was up until the point where we actually started having intercourse. He lasted not even a minute. I didn't have a problem with it because I know that things happen sometimes. But he was extremely embarrassed!! I asked him if this always happens and he said not normally. But about 5 months ago he had a one night fling and it happened then. Of course after this happened I had problems letting myself climax. Is there a reason why this is happening? Is there anything I can do to make him last longer?

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If the guy hasn't had sex in 5 months........and it was the first time for the two of you, he was NERVOUS.
Hi Maggie, and welcome to the board.
Since this is a new relationship, I think the best advice is to give everything a bit of time and see if it doesn't work itself out. He's going to be embarrassed if things aren't working as he would like them to, and he's going to let you know that if he thinks he has let you down.
Here's an article you might find helpful as well:
Out of Order: Your Guy's Performance Problems
How to react in a way that will help resolve the issues
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sexconcerns/0,,traceycox_bq929plg,00.html?nlcid=ls|06-28-2007|
As far as knowing if a guy has climaxed, there are signs you can look for, but they're not going to always be there. Getting to know your lover and how he reacts is what will help you to know when he has climaxed. It sounds like this all happened too fast for him, and he probably was worried that he either wouldn't be able to perform again, or he would finish too quickly again.
You said "I practically had to beg him for it." What was his reaction to that? Did things go better the second time?
my partner in the siggy exchange
I had a couple thoughts that my help.
It sounds like he is not very experienced. Once he get over the newness of the experience that may help. In the mean time, there are two things that may slow him down. Increase the lubrication level by using Astroglide(or similar). This will decrease friction and feeling on the glans. The second thing you could try is a position/technique change. You want to decrease the deep strokes and increase the pelvic grinding. This will usually give you more clitoral stimulation and decrease his stimulation. For example, grind on him using woman on top. Or try the CAT(coital alignment technique).
Maggie, for some men the first round men have a tendency to get trigger happy. After the first shot it should be a bit longer before he shoots again. This is usaully true for most men ages 15-30. I know even with my wife of 20 years, if we go several weeks without sex I am a bit trigger happy. I have to work at it to not shoot too soon. But if we have sex a few days apart, then it take me longer and I am able to control it more.
Have fun,
Male65401
sails.Explore. Dream.Discover" ...
my partner in the siggy exchange
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