lasting long enough

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
lasting long enough
6
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 11:02am
Hey guys well thanx 4 all the nice tips and advice u have all given me before and i finally took action on them! Well, my current bf of age 18 and i began to have sex and me being the women on top i love it! well, my bf and i engage in a lot of foreplay before sex but when it comes down to penatration my bf cums about a few seconds after that and we cnt enjoy and longers sex period. We have even tried less foreplay and starting immediatly after erection and stopping in between but it only lasts about a minute still. Does anyone have any ideas on what we can do to have a more longer lasting sex experience? Also anyone have any erotic ideas to try out because im willing to try new things!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 11:29am
maybe try more foreplay, but have it sort of focus on you...like spend lots of time on oral or something...that way you can feel satisfied, but my pleasuring you, maybe he'll be a little more distracted from his own erection??

or you could try teasing him a little bit...for example (if you're on top)- use his penis to play with your clitoris (some people call this 'outercourse)- then lower onto him, but only for a second then come right back up....

it can be a little frustrating sometimes when he comes really fast- my BF does that sometimes too- a LOT more when we were first together, now we can go for even 3 hours! it's probably just that he's so freakin excited he can't control himself well yet...give it time!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 5:50pm
Hi minnie! Always ALWAYS nice to hear back that some advice hear and there had helped...even a little. :)

For more expert advice, perhaps the Dr. Ruth board would help as well if you hadn't posted this topic there already:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlruth

Some cases may be physical whereas others may actually be psychological. Has he had difficulty from masturbating at all? Has he indicated any signs of being nervous? Are you by any chance his "first"? Does he also orgasm this quickly if you perform oral on him?

Not sure what to advise or even ask for that matter, lol, but you'll get plenty of responses regardless. Again, if you haven't done so already, go ahead and expand your possibility of answers by visiting some other boards too.

So many ideas for trying new erotic things. The wife & I love lit candles and using edible oils while body massaging each other just before "going down" on one another and/or getting to the actual intercourse. You've come to the right place for tons of ideas, LOL, thats for sure! Also try these boards:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlimproveyou

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlpleasurepr

These guys make ME blush with some of their ideas, LOL!!! Good luck, keep posting, you. ;)

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 5:56pm
He's young, and he's excited, and he hasn't learned to control himself yet. Give it some time. Believe it or not, once he's finished, he IS happy, you're the one who's not satisfied.

Don't cut back on the foreplay, increase it. If he's taking care of your needs, he's not thinking about himself. He should be able to go on long enough to give you orgasms from oral and manual stimulation of your clitoris, so that when you finally get to intercourse, it won't matter so much if it's over quickly. Eventually, he'll learn to last longer.

By the way, foreplay is for both of you, and you can do things to give him pleasure, too.....some oral, as long as you don't do it too long and make him finish that way. You can touch him, lick or suck on HIS nipples, and he can do the same for you. Foreplay is called that for a very good reason. It's "before", and it should be "play" for both of you...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 10:30pm
This is a pretty common problem for young guys that have just started having sex. After a while they usually get more used to how good it feels and learn to control themselves better. I wouldn't worry about it too much at this stage, and start thinking about round two. If you can get him hard again shortly after the first time he cums he should last a lot longer the second time.

After a few months you should find that he can last a lot longer the first time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 1:04am
Hey my bf and i actually do tease my clit with his dick and go in and out just as you said and it is wonderful i agree i just wish that we culd last longer doing that b 4 he cums because it seems like 2 much teasing is 2 much 4 him and we stop 4 minutes on minutes! I love the teasing and he does to but i want it all to last much longer than it does! I love having sex with him but i def. do get frustrated when hes done and im left there afterwards. He has never performed oral on me and i wuld like for him to give it a try but only when he is ready and me massaging my clit while having sex or anytime before or after just doesnt cut it for me, i really enjoy the intamacy as well and it seems like when its over thats it for me as well i enjoy anything vaginal and he knows this to but we here of couples lasting for a long time and we last 5 minutes lol we really want a longer time period to enjoy eachother. Your advice was all great thanx a whole bunch! Hopefully my bf and i will be able to fix this!


Edited 7/29/2004 1:11 am ET ET by minniegrl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 3:36pm
well, a positive attitude is the BEST place to start! BUT i might advise to not think of it as a 'problem' for you to 'fix', but something to look forward to the more you are with each other,,,and TIME always makes things better...

as for oral, i gotta tell you that for a LONG time it didn't do anything for me at all...but as i became more comfortable with my body, it started becoming easier to enjoy it. i was always worried about how it tasted and smelled and whether he was liking it. now i simply don't worry about it! if he's down there i gotta assume he's ok with it!

plus, my BF is REALLY good at it...oral sex has NEVER gotten me to orgasm until this guy, now i can't get enough of it from him...

but you are totally right, you don't want to pressure him...hopefully it will happen for you naturally...just try not to keep one eye on the clock everytime you start up- just go with how things are making you feel...change positions a lot, change the tempo a lot and enjoy it!

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