UP LATE ONE NITE!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
UP LATE ONE NITE!!!!!!
15
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 6:09am

I was up late by myself one night flipping through the movie channels. I came to a movie were two beautiful women were making love!! I turned away and then turned back, I couldn't look away, my eyes were glued to the women kissing and licking each other!!!!!!!!!!! I found myself getting very aroused and hot. Before I knew it my panties were wet!!!!!!!!! I have find myself thinking about a beautiful, sexy,voluptuous, women touching me,licking me ,kissing me, and just having her way with me!!!!!!!!!!(LOL) I AM MARRIED TO A GOOD MAN, I have been for 10 years now. I have never had or experienced a relationship with anyone besides my husband. I have not told anyone how I have been feeling or thinking, because this type of thinking and behavior would be frowned upon and preceived as dirty and preverted.... Am I the only one who has had these type of thoughts and feelings??????????? Am I betraying my relationship with my husband , because I want a women to make me feel good all over my body??? Is this normal or do I need Help???????????

I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO WANT ME AND MAKE ME FEEL GOOD FOR A CHANGE!!!!!!!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT U THINK??????

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 7:26am
Hi Alone, and welcome to the board.

First of all, let me assure you what you were feeling is not at all dirty or perverted, but in fact a fairly common and very natural sexual fantasy, and you are most certainly not betraying your relationship with DH just because you became aroused over a fantasy. In your post you say * I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO WANT ME AND MAKE ME FEEL GOOD FOR A CHANGE!!!!!!!!*, which leads me to wonder whether your husband doesn't make you feel as if he wants you and wants to make you feel good?? If that's the case, then I think it's perfectly natural that you would have the response you did to a situation where you perceived the person you were fantasizing about would be more in tune with your needs and be better informed as to how to make you feel good.



Is this something you'd be able to talk to your husband about? Many (if not most) men would probably tell you that fantasizing about their wives or girlfriends with another woman is one of their hottest and most common fantasies. It isn't anything that necessarily has to become a reality -- and probably shouldn't without a great deal of communication first -- but the fantasy could become something that you incorporate into your love making with DH, imagining you with a fantasy woman and describing what you and she would be doing to each other.



In any case, it sounds as if a long and deep discussion with DH is called for here. Please stick around, and let us know how it goes.

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Edited 6/15/2007 7:28 am ET by bostonsteve
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 10:26am

Welcome to the board aloneinmyhome3. I hope you'll visit June Roll Call and let us get to know you a little better.



As Steve said, it's a fairly common fantasy for guys to want to see 2 women together. Many women are also bi-curious. Your statement:



"I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO WANT ME AND MAKE ME FEEL GOOD FOR A CHANGE!"



also makes me feel as if your DH isn't meeting your needs. While it's perfectly normal to have fantasies that are not based in reality, it seems that this particular scene interested you because you saw one person giving another pleasure.



Since you have said that you feel you will be viewed as perverted if you mention this to your DH, I wonder if you could have a conversation with him in which you express your desire to have a more mutually satisfying sexual relationship. Many men want their DW to be a "lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom," so if you talk with him, you may find that he is more open to your interest than you believe he may be. Sharing in your sexual enjoyment WILL bring more satisfaction to him as well.



If you feel that your DH isn't in tuned with what your sexual needs are, you might want to have him visit the website the-clitoris.com. It explains a lot about female sexual responses. It may place the footwork for you to open discussion with him about your own desires.



Stick around here as well. You will find a lot of encouragement and suggestions from the other members! Of course, we all like to be updated in your progress as well ;-)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 10:55am

I agree with Steve. You have two things going on here! The first, it's a fantasy, nothing more.....and fantasies don't make anyone perverted. Depending on your personal views, lesbians aren't perverted, nor are gay men. But you don't have to be a lesbian to enjoy seeing sexual things between two women.

I was thinking that thought when I came to your last sentence: "I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO WANT ME AND MAKE ME FEEL GOOD FOR A CHANGE!!!!!!!". So, it's obvious that there are some kind of problems going on in your life to make you feel that way. You want someone to want you.......most people do! Unfortunately, the "make me feel good" part is up to you, no one else.

You're married, but there you are sitting up alone in the middle of the night watching TV. So, what's the problem in your marriage? What have you done to work out problems in your marriage? Have you told your husband how you feel? Does he even care? He may be a good MAN.....but is he a good husband?

The fantasy? No big deal! The marriage.....maybe some good communication is needed...or even therapy? Don't worry about the fantasy......try to work on making yourself feel better about yourself, and it would help if your husband helped you in that mission! Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 1:04pm

Listen to them .. they give great advice! As far as watching 2 women and fantasizing about it ... I am firmly heterosexual and watching just about anything of a sexual nature (such as 2 women or even 2 men) will turn me on. Fantasy is a good thing ... but it sounds like you need your hubby to bring some of your fantasies to life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2007
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 3:24pm

I am a woman that gets VERY aroused watching two women together. Just reading your post, the way you worded what you were seeing was arousing. I know it is a common fantasy for a woman to imagine being with another woman. I also know that it is common for women to feel "dirty or perverted" when they realize that this turns them on. You are VERY VERY normal, and many women share your same feelings.

So get past the initial feeling of "I am not normal, this is not right, these thoughts may hurt my husband, etc", and accept that you have just discovered something about yourself. I am not saying that you should walk out the door today and carry out this fantasy, because that could definitely be hurtful toward yourself and your relationship with your husband, but indulge in the fantasy every once and awhile.

If you are comfortable with it, share it with your husband. It may open some doors of communication between the two of you. It seems like you are feeling lonely, and maybe somewhat neglected. Follow the advice of others above and seek what may be missing in your marriage. I think the two topics (your realization that you enjoy watching women together, and the fact that you just want to feel better for a change) are quite separate from each other.

So, best of luck. Keep us posted and take care of yourself. Keep using the message boards, it is a great way to feel not so alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 5:18am

Thank u for your words of comfort!! It's good to hear another womans perspective. And you are right I do feel loney and very turned on, but just not bye my husband right now!!!!!!!!!!

sincerely alone............... :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 5:23am

thanks for writing me. YOU are so right, I do need my husband to turn me and bring me pleasure the way I give him pleasure and make his toes curl up.(LOL)

SINCERELY ALONE

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 5:34am

thanks for writing . And you are so right about me!!!!!!! I do need to feel better about myself, and I am working on it.
I just feel loney and unwanted at times. you know And I bring much pleasure to my husband,but He don't know how to give me that pleasurable experience that I need!!!!!!!!!!!!

sincerely me. thank again :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 5:36am
thanks for your advice and concern.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 5:49am
*And I bring much pleasure to my husband,but He don't know how to give me that pleasurable experience that I need!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Here's a site with lots of good information regarding women's sexual arousal and how it works, that you might find it helpful to read (and possibly more helpful to have your husband read): www(dot)the-clitoris(dot)com.

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