Light-hearted porn issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2004
Light-hearted porn issue
12
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 5:35am

Some may have an opinion on this, others may just like reading it.

I was chatting with a friend the other day, this particular guy has an obsession with porn (and predictably, he doesn't have a girlfriend). I have watched so few porn films in my time that I can actually remember them individually. So, we got talking about porn, as he was telling me that he was watching one of the films that I actually know of.

We then started discussing the issue of ejaculation and more specifically, premature ejaculation.

Porn stars are supposed to be the best at sex, not passionately or romantically, but in terms of looking good for televisual purposes, they are. Most people who watch porn films like to generally see; two good looking heterosexuals, a bit of oral sex both ways, penetrative sex in a few positions, then concluding with an average to large 'cumshot'.

One of the things about the male pornstars is that they're supposed to be able to 'hold it in' until the filmmaker wants him to blow his load. Sure, millions upon millions of everyday men are able to last a long time but the thing with pornstars is that they're supposed to be able to do it every time.

One porn film we were talking about featured a guy, who got sucked and ridden like hell by two women, did many other positions, before shooting a huge load over one of the women's face. As we said, the average man would have climaxed much sooner usually, but this guy is good at what he does.

But then we got on to the subject of the films being realistic. There was one film I saw where the women were supposed to be really hot voluptuous girls but where the men were quite average. I remember in this film, the men actually came relatively quickly, like 10 minutes or so. But the thing was, it was true to life. Average men like those, with much hotter women like those, doing the kinds of things they were doing, probably would have come quite quickly. However, there seemed to be no shame in it and therefore it made for quite good viewing.

It was not a problem for those guys to come early. But what about those porn films, and I've seen one or two like this, where the guy appears to be lasting for ages, and the viewer almost seems to be asking, "Man, how has he not come yet?", but then when it actually gets to the end, his cumshot is really rather weak.

My friend, a definite porn conosseur, said that in cases like that, they've usually come earlier in the film, but the director wants them to carry on. That's why it last a while but that's why he doesn't come a lot, because there's nothing left in him. My friend said it's frustrating as a viewer, because your hopes are built up only to be let down by an anti-climax. I said, that surely it would look better if they just let the guy come when he wants, rather than let the viewer down like that.

To be honest, the fact that I'm writing this should suggest that I've got nothing better to do right now.

But if there's a point to this message, I guess it's to ask, do we like our porn films to be extreme, fantasy type ones, or would we prefer if they were sometimes more realistic and true to life?

I can solve all of life's problems by asking myself a simple question:  What would Stone Cold Steve Austin do in this particular situation?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 7:22am

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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2004
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 8:48am

I know Tish, it seems as if not a day goes by without some post about porn, only it's always someone complaining that their man watches too much, or wondering if it's OK to watch it together. I thought it was time for a different angle on the whole porn issue.

I mean, just because there's serious stuff going on in the world , and serious stuff going on here on these boards, doesn't mean to say that we can't discuss why some pornstar's cumshots are really weak first thing in the morning does it? LOL

I can solve all of life's problems by asking myself a simple question:  What would Stone Cold Steve Austin do in this particular situation?

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:21am

I'm sure many watch porn to escape reality and see exaggerated situations and performers and some prefer more realism with a story behind the sex.

My DH and I don't use porn but I think you can see how fantasy porn could actually affect both sexes negatively, to some degree.

If a man continually sees male performers seemingly lasting for hours and then blowing a huge amount of ejaculate, it could make him feel inadequate and insecure about the expectations for his own performance.

And a woman might feel insecure about being compared to the unrealistic standards porn has set for women in some men's eyes. We've seen this problem discussed repeatedly on this board alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 11:07am

Although It's been a while since I've watched mainstream hardcore, I think that there should be disclaimers placed on porn to protect the innocent. "Warning...DO NOT try this at home" ;-) I remember when we were very young(and yes, gullible ;-) watching how easily the actors switched to anal sex. No lube, nothing. Just "OK, stick it in(albeit slowly)." Well...DH and tried that and it wasn't pretty! I also wondered why I couldn't orgasm from intercourse alone with little or no foreplay and with no simultaneous clitoral stimulation and why DH couldn't last as long as the actor. I was also confused as to why I wasn't turned on by women. The movies seemed to depict that it was a normal occurrence. Every single movie we watched had woman on woman at least half of the time. And lastly, although there were a few, most of the actors and actresses weren't that great looking. I was naive to think that this was even close to reality.

Honestly, I'd rather watch real sex(saw some of it on the net and it's far more exciting than any staged performances.)




Edited 5/27/2005 11:21 am ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 8:14pm

Well, I'll respond but I actually do have something better to do!

There are such extremes in porn that range from the absolutely insane to the more sublime and more realistic so you can only generalise, I guess. Of course, if I'm going to be watching a porn movie in the first place I prefer it to be very visual but I certainly don't need pumped-up silicone babes and body builder guys swinging from the lightshades and doing it upside down, backwards and in every conceivable combination before they cum. I'd much rather see good looking couples having reasonably believable sex. One thing that really annoys me is you rarely ever see a woman (or a man I guess) that is actually aroused and naturally lubed. Of course that's the nature of the business - they're acting and like any other actors they are surrounded by a set, lights, cables, sound technicians, cameramen and various support personnel. They are directed, posed and have to do multiple takes. Often they have to re-film parts AFTER the guy has cum, so it's all very mechanical.

As for the guys lasting a long time? I'm amazed that they can actually cum at all with all that they are surrounded with and have to deal with. Of course, any guy that CAN'T last a good long time and then basically cum on cue simply doesn't make the cut as a porn actor. I think that's why there are so few male porn actors around. Good body, big penis, can get it up and keep it up and can cum on cue. Guys like that are far and few between.

Oh well, better go do some work now. ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2005
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 10:58pm

I might be totally weird, but I hate porn. I think it is nasty. Not saying that people that watches it is nasty, it just is not for me. It makes me super uncomfortable. I just figure--why watch? I would rather DO!! :)

~Stephanie

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 12:43am
"I would rather DO!!" That kind of sums up my feelings about it, as well. LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 1:29pm
Not everyone has that option. Plus, it's like saying that you'd rather play music than listen to it. Listening for its own sake can be pleasurable too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 3:35pm

LOL, I have had this conversation before.


My 2 cents....

-Savanah.Jane

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 5:10pm
In the context of a relationship, you DO have that option though. And no one said that music OR porn can't be enjoyed.

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