a little lost... someone help please
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| Mon, 02-06-2006 - 9:26pm |
my boyfriend and i are totally in love, 100 percent, absolutely head over heels for each other, but i'm feeling very insecure lately. recently, he has mentioned that he wished i coulod participate more when we are having sex. He said the other day that "we" weren't having sex, but he was having sex with me. I feel really bad. We usually do it with me lying down and he'll either be standing up, or kneeling on the bed. I feel really bad, but the problem is, he isn't very long, but he is thick, so when i'm on top, unless he's thrusting into me (which doesn't really happen often) i can not feel him. Also, i just don't like being on top, he has lost weight since we started going out, and i haven't, so now i weigh more than he does, and i don't like being on top! Also, i can't orgasm unless i'm on the bottom. So, there it is in a nut shell, and I'd really appreciate some advice... How should i approach it? thanks!

When he says that he feels like only he is having sex, he means that he feels that you're not enjoying it, only he is. And it sounds like he's right. Stop worrying about your weight for starters. If that bothers you, then do something about it, but it doesn't sound like your weight is bothering him.
It also doesn't matter how "thick" he is....his girth has nothing to do with you having orgasms. Most women don't have orgasms from intercourse alone, because there is little or no feeling inside the vagina. Your real sexual "organ" is your clitoris. That's where all the nerve endings are. And truthfully, most women can enjoy sex even if they don't have orgasms all the time. Some women NEVER have them and still enjoy sex.
As for you being on top, it sounds like you're not doing it right. It's very hard for him to "thrust" when you're on top of him....save that for when HE's on top. When you're on top...if you straddle him and kneel (NOT squat on your feet) you're putting very little weight on him, if that's what you're worrying about. Then when you're on top of him, YOU don't bounce up and down, you move SLOWLY and sensuously.....moving your hips in a circle, and grinding into him, so that your clitoris is rubbing against his pubic bone......and if you get the angle just right, you might get some "g" spot action too.
If you learn how to do it right, he'll have to fight to get you off of him...you'll like it better than any other position!
A man doesn't want a woman who just lies there waiting for an orgasm.....he wants someone who not only shows pleasure and enthusiasm, he wants someone whe participates, and sometimes takes the lead. Try it! You'll like it.