Loosing Virginity Before Marriage
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Loosing Virginity Before Marriage
| Mon, 05-09-2005 - 11:24pm |
I come from a very tight family were morality is very important and loosing virginity before marriage would be very sinful and unmoral. They believe that once a girl looses their virginity, no other guy would take her siriously. I don't believe in many of these ideas, however I'm scared to loose my virginity before getting married because many of this ideas are stuck in my head. I don't know what to think. I just feel that if thinks don't work out no other guy is going to take me siriously. I just want your opinions on what you think about virginity and marriage.

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Hi,
I think this has to be a choice that you make. And yes guys well think of marrying you having long term relationships with you, if your not a virgin. But if you don't feel like your ready you don't have to and if you do feel like you are then you can. If your feeling at all guilty for taking any actions in a sexual manner then you might just want to hold off and think about it a little longer. You have time, there is always a tomorrow.
My feelings on vringity and marriage, well there mine and really will have no impact on what you should do. All I can say is make sure your safe, ie bc and comdoms ect. And most of all sure that your ready.
hugs
Rache
If you're an adult, then you should learn to think for yourself. Your family is stuck in the 1950's. In those days, men would "play" with girls who were willing, but they didn't want to marry anyone but a virgin. These days, men will marry a woman with two or three children, obviously not virgins.
I think most men would prefer a woman with a little experience. And a woman probably should have that experience before she marries someone, and then finds that they're not sexually compatible.
Our parent's provide us with a FOUNDATION to build our own beliefs on. If you look at the moral and religious teachings of your parents THAT way, then it might be easier to take what you truly believe is right for you and leave the rest. As adults, we all have to go through this process. And sometimes, we actually have to prove certain truths to ourselves in order to embrace them fully.
IF you truly don't feel that you must wait for your wedding night to lose your virginity, then don't. But as an adult, that should be your choice, not one your parents make for you. Of course, they only want to protect you and keep you from being hurt, so naturally, they would rather err on the side of safety than perhaps, encourage you to do what you feel is right.
But, this a different day and age and women marry at a much later age so waiting until perhaps your mid-30's or beyond is quite a different proposition than when girls married at 16 or even younger.
There is nothing wrong with waiting to be intimate with your husband either and if that's what you feel is right for you, then follow your heart...but out of conviction, not out of fear.
Edited 5/10/2005 12:40 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
I was in the same family-ideal mentality as you are about two years ago. What happened? I fell in love...
I realized that a relationship includes every intellectual, emotional, mental AND physical intimacies that exists between people.
Staying a virgin does not descrease who you are as a person. If you get married one day, the person you marry should be able to look at you and know who he is marrying completely. You are a physical being and you have every right to exercise that ability, as immoral as it may seem to your family.
Hun, in the end, your family has no business in your life choices unless they are directly affected and your sexual life has nothing to do with your mother, father, siblings etc. That's yours and yours alone.
Good luck.
It's whatever each individual decides for her/him self.
I'm a male. I have been married twice, and neither of the women were virgins before I met them. It made absolutely no difference to me. I was also in two serious relationships during which marriage was at least discussed, again to two non-virgins, and I didn't think any less of them. Things not leading to the altar had nothing to do with their non-virgin status. I can't speak for all men, but I feel strongly that most of us won't consider you "damaged goods" if you do choose to engage in pre-marital sex.
There're actually quite a few virgins over the age of 25...I'm one of them, or will be shortly.
Edited for typo.
Edited 5/13/2005 8:48 pm ET ET by lothiriel2000
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