Loosing Virginity Before Marriage
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Loosing Virginity Before Marriage
| Mon, 05-09-2005 - 11:24pm |
I come from a very tight family were morality is very important and loosing virginity before marriage would be very sinful and unmoral. They believe that once a girl looses their virginity, no other guy would take her siriously. I don't believe in many of these ideas, however I'm scared to loose my virginity before getting married because many of this ideas are stuck in my head. I don't know what to think. I just feel that if thinks don't work out no other guy is going to take me siriously. I just want your opinions on what you think about virginity and marriage.

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Hi kiky! You share the same feelings/worries with more guys & gals than we may realize. In case you haven't visited there yet, here's a link to quite the board, if I do say so myself, thats actually VERY well suited for this, and they're GREAT supporters too:
Let's Talk About Virginity
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlchaste
This doesn't speak for everyone else of course, but either I hold Biblical values sacred, or I don't. We all have our own beliefs of what is and isn't moral, and then there's the Biblical view, thats the way I see it, its not law or anything.
When it comes to guys not taking a non-virgin young woman seriously, I wouldn't fall for it unless the comment was directed at those guys who hold strong to those values. I just don't see how that comment was realistically directed to guys , because too many couples out there have proven against that.
Hope this board helped a little. The Mrs. & I definitely support the type of choice, but its all up to you. :)
C H A R A C T E R
Boy, talk about being on the same page. Well, i'm the man... who you are probably worried about. And guess what, yes, i am worried. See, i just met a lady, she is 27, really like her. After 2 months of dating, she told me she lost her virginity at 21. Well, yes, probably, most men would be OK with it (i can only guess... honestly, who knows right). But you see, i'm different. Well, first of all, i really believe in saving it before marriage. Not just because the Bible says so.. i just feel it.. deep inside... as a being.. that is something i want to give to my wife... it is my wedding day present to her. I will only give it to the lady i wed. And yes, i'm 32.. and yes.. that is rare... call it what you want.. but it just IS.
When she told me... oh man... the world came to and end... honest.. i got sick.. my stomach hurt for 3 days straight.. i had honestly thought i found her.. the ONE... Now... i'm so confused... i have read the internet back and forth (that's how i got to read your message.. did a Google)... but still, i cannot get over the fact that she has given herself.. that which i value so much ... to another. Now, if i were not a virgin male, maybe i would value it differently and not be picky (beggars can't be choosers). But since i am, i wonder, isn't it only natural for me to ask for the same thing in a woman?
I can tell you, i am struggling with it.. it has been a month now.. and i still don't have an answer.. that is probably not a good sign.
Well, here it is from a guy who is on the receiving end. Hope that helps... just know, that yes, premarital sex can definitely, in a real way, put a tail spin on a future relationship. IT IS DOING THAT AS I TYPE THIS... TO ME. Forget religion, forget morality... it is a human feeling... even if i was raised in a jungle.. i think i would have these sickening feelings about it.. Trust me.. I KNOW.. I CAN FEEL IT and seem to have little control over it... i want so bad to love her again like i used to.. but i don't know if i can anymore.
Best of Luck In All You Do
Welcome to the board Sincereman and I hope you enjoy it here.
If you have sex before marriage (which I did), it doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't mean you are damaged goods. And, this isn't the 1500s where a man won't want you if you aren't intact. This is the 21st century where anything practically goes.
Hi sincereman:
hi Tish...I normally agree with you @100% of the time..you are a very honest, insightful, and intelligent woman..but I will disagree with just one of your last comments..
You said" it doesn't mean their values or morals are wrong or that they have less morals than a virgin."
If you are talking from a religious point of view (morals are often religious based)then they are less moral and are of a different value system if they have sex before marriage.
(I believe the poster was talking from a religious point of view)
Now, Im talking from purely a value system based on most religions...
Right and wrong ,as far as society values go, are normally different than a religious point of view.
Im sure ,in these times, most men (Im one of them) do not expect their women to be a vigin at marriage....as a matter of fact, Im a believer of "driving" a car before I buy it, and Im sure lots of women feel the same way....I cant even imagine planning a future with a person and not knowing them sexually..Its that important to lots of people.
Not that sex IS a relationship, just as money, location of living, lifestyle,careers,and future plans are NOT the relationship, but they are all important in their own ways.
No, I wasn't talking about religious morals, I was referring to his one post that said <<< TO ME. Forget religion, forget morality... it is a human feeling... even if i was raised in a jungle.. i think i would have these sickening feelings about it>>>
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