Lost Sex Drive

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2006
Lost Sex Drive
5
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 9:38pm
I am only 20 years old and have lost my sex drive. When I started dating my boyfriend 10 months ago, we used to have sex at least once a day and now he's lucky to get it 3 times a week. To answer any questions, I am attracted to him. I THINK it might be because I'm tired; I work and go to school full-time. We are both a little confused on my lack of interest. Any advice? Thanks
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 12:22am

Makes sense to me. There are only so many hours in a day but 3 times a week is still reasonable with a hectic schedule.

Are you under the impression that you should be having it daily still?

Everyone has a lot of sex when a relationship is new, regardless of age, that's pretty typical. But with time, you HAVE to make room for other responsibilities and demands of life and you simply can't go at it like rabbits indefinitely.

If you just aren't in the mood as often, it's probably because you don't have time for yourself anymore. Make some time for YOU and it's likely that your sex drive will return when you've been able to nurture yourself first.

Catch up on your sleep, reading, hobbies, etc. and then you might be more inclined to be in the mood more often.




Edited 4/12/2006 12:30 am ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2006
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 9:01am
Thank you for your reply. I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear that 3 times a week is reasonable. I was under the impression that I needed to have sex once a day. Thanks again :-)
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 3:15pm

Did you get that idea from your guy or somewhere else?

Regardless of age, libido will vary greatly from person to person and that can be affected by all kinds of things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2006
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 6:27pm
I got that idea from my boyfriend. He's very insecure and he thinks that when I'm not in the mood it means I'm not attracted to him. He misses how it used to be; of course, I didn't have as much going on in my life as I do now.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 7:13pm

You can point out that you're with him because you love him AND are attracted to him and this time/energy crunch you're experiencing won't go on forever. More than likely what he's TRULY missing is your time.

But you can demonstrate your attraction and love for him by continuing to be affectionate and caring even when you don't have the time or energy for sex. Not much else you can do though.

Hopefully, he'll begin to trust & understand that with time. But you need his support to accomplish your goals, not made to feel guilty because you can't have sex with him everyday.

Maybe he needs to be encouraged to find other things to fill his time so he won't feel so deprived.




Edited 4/12/2006 7:19 pm ET by katmandoo2001