lurker that needs some help...
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lurker that needs some help...
| Wed, 10-17-2007 - 9:20pm |
ive been married for almost 12 yrs.during the last year or so my sex drive has dropped so low-especially the last 6mths-i can deal w/out the sex.i have no desire for sex and it totally ticks my husband off. .he knows how i feel and is so irritated that i feel the way i do.is there anything i can do to try and do to get me sex drive back.im not sure why i feel the way i do.ive been working out to feel better about myself.ive been changing how i do things to make myself look better and some of that is helping alot but i still dont want sex at all!thanks for ny responses.

Has anything changed within the last year, besides your lack of desire, are there any relationship problems, are you on any new
Welcome out of lurkdom, chandlerkarleesma.
There are a lot of things that can affect your sex drive, from hormones to stress, medications to self-esteem. Since your doctor does know you better than we do, I would definitely suggest bringing this up with him/her. Either your gyn or your primary care should be able to ask questions, order simple blood tests, and give you some guidance.
You haven't included a lot of information about you, so it's really difficult to speculate what might be causing, but there are some steps you can take to improve it -- at least for the sake of your relationship.
Many couples find that they schedule sex, maybe once a week, and stick to the schedule. While it may not sound romantic, they usually find that once they have made a commitment to set this time aside for themselves, they start to look forward to it more and more as time goes by. Sometimes the lower libido (LL) partner starts to find their libido again, and may even begin to look forward to having sex when it's not on schedule. You and your DH shouldn't expect results overnight, but if you talk about it, and make the commitment, your situation could start to improve.
While you say you could live without sex, your spouse isn't going to be happy with that as an option. Trying to compromise can usually help both of you set realistic expectations. If you talk with your doctor, and you rule out any medical causes of your lowered libido, then talking with a counselor can also be very helpful. Ideally, couples counseling, with someone trained to deal with sexual issues would be the best choice.
Here's a link that you might also find helpful:
Have a Healthier Sex Drive (links to stuff)
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/sxarousal/0,,758xksxj,00.html
We're happy to help to, so feel free to look around the other messages on the board. There are a lot of resources available, and many other posts where you might find more insight. I hope you'll keep us posted on how you're doing. We're more than happy to help you along the way.
my partner in the siggy exchange
Edited 10/17/2007 10:04 pm ET by cl-misty_mae
Hey there!