major decrease in sexual stamina
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major decrease in sexual stamina
| Sun, 12-17-2006 - 11:17pm |
i have been dating my boyfriend for almost three years. when we first started having sex, it was great for both of us. now, for the past year, year and a half, i just haven't really been interested in sex. my boyfriend is getting frustrated with this and i get frustrated with him every time he asks me when the next time we'll have sex is. is there some sort of issue with me for not being interested in sex anymore? variety in our sex life doesnt really seem to help either. what can i do to fix this and make my man happy again? i would love to know what is wrong and how i can fix it.

What you're talking about is your "sex drive" or "libido".....not "stamina". Stamina is physical strenghth, the physical ability to HAVE sex.
You've lost your interest in sex....and that's got nothing to do with stamina. The question is why? Is he not satisfying you? Is there something else going on in your relationship that makes you feel that way? Very often problems in the bedroom are caused by problems OUTSIDE the bedroom. Relationship problems, etc.
You get your libido from hormones, and from your brain. If there's a problem in your life, then you'll lose interest in sex, simple as that.
How long since you've had a physical? You could have a hormone imbalance, or some other problem that can cause your hormones to go out of balance. Are you on any new medications? Many medications affect your libido.....antidepressants being the usual culprit. Are you on an antidepressant? If so, that will kill your libido, but you can ask your doctor to try a different one.....Wellbutrin is the one that seems to have the least sexual side effects.
There is definitely a REASON you feel this way....it's up to you to figure it out, and if you can't, then see a doctor to find out if it's a medical reason.
Are you currently on birth control? I know that once I started my birth control pills my libido went WAY down. And yes, it is VERY frustrating for both parties. There are many herbel pills/remedies that can help with this. Hot Plants is great! Also, I found that using an erotic heightener lotion (I bought mine at a sex toy party) during foreplay is a great way to get you in the mood, as long as your guy doesn't mind taking the time to use it. Hope this helps! :)
The only other thing I can suggest to you is to gather up some erotic material. When I noticed my libido wasting away into nothingness..haha...I found that reading a steamy "Cosmo" article or erotic book worked as a quick fix. I'd take one into the bathroom with me during my nightly bath time and then by the time we were both ready for bed, viola!..I was in the mood! :) This might help as a quick fix if reading/viewing erotic material works for you. And it's a nice, private way of getting in the mood (I really wasn't too excited about watching porn with my fiance...so this worked much better for me) I would suggest talking to your ob/gyn about your issue too because he/she can help you find a solution too, not many people realize that. I have a friend who was actually prescribed anxiety drugs by her ob/gyn and this helped her libido return as well. I would def. try to get ahold of some Hot Plants too, like I mentioned in the other e-mail. If you have a GNC store in your area, they should have it. Please understand that this isn't a problem with YOU or with your relationship per se....I have just begun a new relationship with a great guy and I still am having this issue because of my BC pills. Good luck! Let me know how things go! :)
Hot Plants are herbel pills that can be taken to increase your sex drive and boost your libido. They have formulas for men and women, so be sure to check out both. Go to www.hot-plants.com to find out more info. They have ingrediant and pricing information on their site as well as some FAQ's. :)
hah awesome! thanks...i owe you one...and so does my boyfriend, I'll let you know how they they work out for me...
-Andie