Making sex less painful?
Find a Conversation
Making sex less painful?
| Mon, 01-23-2006 - 4:45pm |
Okay, so I had sex for the first time yesterday with my boyfriend. It didn't go so well. We did lots of foreplay and everything but it still hurt badly and he couldn't get more than halfway inside of me. Now, I have toys and whatnot, but I'm not used to anything as big as he is (and he's average, not huge or anything). He was great about everything and didn't try to force it or anything. I felt fairly relaxed and we used lots of lube as well as condoms and I'm on birth control. So I was consciously not nervous about it and totally ready, I was the one that initiated it in the first place. So what can I do to make next time better and not as painful? Is it just something that takes time to get used to? Thanks!
Edited 1/23/2006 4:50 pm ET by supermariogirl
Edited 1/23/2006 4:50 pm ET by supermariogirl

Sex for the first time is almost never easy, or pleasant for either partner. Even tho you were the one who initiated it, and you wanted to do it, whether you realize it or not, you WERE nervous.
All women need foreplay, and beginners need LOTS of it. You said nothing about foreplay. Until you're fully relaxed and aroused, your vaginal muscles aren't relaxed, and as long as they're tight, it will be painful. There's a lot more to sex than intercourse, and for most women, the foreplay is as exciting and sometimes more pleasurable than intercourse. Guys like to go right for it, but that's where their pleasure is.....and if they understand how a woman's body works, they'll take all the time that's needed to get her ready.
The next time you try, spend lots of time pleasuring each other manually and/or orally, and it should go better. It has nothing to do with his size, or the fact that you've used toys. Even if you'd used LARGE toys, every time you have sex, you still have to be aroused again, so that your vaginal muscles relax. When sex is over, the muscles get tight again.