male pubic hair........
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| Thu, 12-22-2005 - 3:11pm |
I had never shaved/trimmed down below until I had the Big V about 6 years ago. I remember taking my first shower after that and thinking 'wow, that feels pretty good." So, ever since then, maybe 1-2 times a year, I'd give myself a little trim. Nothing too radical, not going totally bald, just trimming off the hair around my scrotum and shaft with one of those little trimmer units, like you see on TV.
The wife has never really commented on it that much, until last night. Doesn't like it, finds it, in her words, "not very masculine."
So we discussed for a few minutes. I told her it feels better, more sensitive, etc. I told her that people cut their hair,in different body spots, for a variety of reasons - style, ease, appearance, performance, sensation, cleanliness, etc.
We had a similar discussion several years ago when she got a Brazilian. She did it on her own, or at least with just a little encouragment from me. But didn't like it, too much like a pre-pubescent girl. Which really doesn't hold much water with me since she has shaved her legs and underarms religiously almost every day for the 15+ years we've been married. She says it makes her feel confortable, pretty, smooth, clean. As for Brazilians, that's her choice and I'm fine with it.
Neither of these conversations were arguments, more like discussions, but I'm at a loss in how to react. It ain't the end of the world, but it is something I enjoy periodically.
Any suggestions?

I'll tell you the same thing I tell women who write about pubic hair and what should they do, my advise is, do what
Gotta agree with Tish...obviously. :)
Some people are more open to experiencing something uncommon to them, such as your situation, and some others just simply aren't...no matter what validity they try to come up with.
If you're looking for advice on how to widen her view of this issue, then we can't help you there...nobody can. She is literally anchored on this view she has of it all, even on her body at that, lol.
Your "reaction" to this doesn't have to be an issue either. Only SHE can make it an issue, you don't really have to. Hope the replies help. :)
C H A R A C T E R
I have a hard time imagining there are many places in the deep South that will do that for men. Probably only in Atlanta.
We did discuss again last night, and I think we've reached a compromise. I told her it was something I'd like to do periodically, a few times a year. Do it, let it grow out for awhile, do it, etc. Not a permanent change, just periodically, to spice things up. At least for me!
I do think I had some luck comparing it to different sexual techniques/activities. Sometimes sex is soft and tender, sometimes more aggressive, sometimes a quickie, sometimes long and drawn out, MOT/WOT, doggie, standing, oral, etc, etc.
>>I do think I had some luck comparing it to different sexual techniques/activities. Sometimes sex is soft and tender, sometimes more aggressive, sometimes a quickie, sometimes long and drawn out, MOT/WOT, doggie, standing, oral, etc, etc<<
It's an interesting analogy, and quite accurate. However, one must also remember that many people have limitations on what they'll do sexually. For example, I'm not up for anal sex...and I dislike the look of a shaved man. I remember when my DH shaved (pre-vasectomy), I was extremely turned off by the look. So turned off in fact that I didn't want to have sex with him till he had a good fuzz regrowth.
Sure, I'll be the first to admit that reactions were politically incorrect. But who among us is 100% PC?
I trim regularly. Just a trim and then I shave the base of the shaft and the scrotum. The skin-on-skin contact when she trims/shaves is awesome ;-)
Do what you want to do. It probably isn't going to end in divorce and I'm sure that she'll get used to it.
I'd rather compare it to kissing someone clean shaven versus a guy with a beard. Still feels great but clean shaven is pretty nice too.
I had never seen this done until I met my dh. B4 our first time having sex he told me about it, "so it won't be a shock or freak you out".
I did not care for it. It didn't effect how I felt for him, just didn't like the way it looked. Same as your wife; not manly or masculine, to little boyish.
I also do not care for shaving me. Also like your wife; too little-girlish looking to me. Trim yes, shave no. Still I do cuz dh likes it that way and I don't have to please myself sexually with a shave or not but my dh.
I have time from time though told him I wish he'd let his grow out and just keep it trimmed back good but he will not. Like you said he does the scrotum and around the base of the penis. All that's left is a slight half moon at the very top. He keeps saying oh it keeps hair from getting in your mouth. Hey, I don't mind that as much as I don't like the way he looks shaved. Mostly I just don't look much. To me it reminds me of one of those cats that don't have any fur. Sickly and ugly. His penis on it's own is quite attractive, but as a whole it's a picture I don't like.
So, you tell me, why will dh not let it grow out and just keep it cut back. Esp. since I don't like myself shaved, but do it cuz he likes it better. I do for him, why won't he undo for me?
As far as your situation, why do you care if you shave it or not now and then? Why do you feel the need to, just cuz you like to? Isn't what your wife finds appealing and attractive "there" more important than "just wanting to a couple times a year"? Then again why shouldn't she be a little more understanding about something you just like to do a time or two a year. After all in a week or two you'd be back to normal. It's like her getting a hair cut she likes in the summer to keep cooler that you may not particularly care for or something. Then again if you agree to quit doing it, it will certainly show her you care more about what she wants than the seemingly meaningless to you ritual of shaving once or twice a year. If you like her better shaved maybe you could strike a bargain with her.......rather than you shaving once or twice a year, she shaves once or twice a year. That way you are both pleasing one another and leaving behind your own personal wants (yours to shave, hers not to shave) and both are making a personal sacrifice for the other.
What ever you do, don't ignore your wife's likes and dislikes when it comes to something like this. I'm not saying cave every time, but maybe you can both find a common ground or a different answer to the little problem.
You know how men, just b4 getting in the shower, like to flash the wife and give it a bit of a swing, "you like that don't ya' baby!" thing. I'm thinking....No! It's gross looking, like one of those ugly unnatural looking furless cats.....I hope you care more about how your wife perceives you than my dh does me. I'd like to go over and smack those bald balls and exclaim, "I'd like that better with hair please!!!!"
I don't want my dh looking like a little boy. I want a man. A man that looks like a man, from his balls to his chinny-chin-chin!
Hope that helps give you some insight. I don't mean to seem hard on you or your choice, I just find myself sympathizing with your wife and feel there is a compromise to be made here that rather than turning either of you off for a time could entice the other with a bit of a little change from time to time.