marathon man

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2004
marathon man
8
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 8:24pm

I've heard many times that a man takes (in average) 3-5 minutes to reach orgasm. I will assume this information to be correct, especially since my ex usually took about that long (maybe a bit longer, but still pretty close). However, my new boyfriend takes about 45 minutes. Is this because I'm not 'doing what I should'? Or do some men simply try to make it last longer? He assures me he is satisfied, but I am still a bit worried.

Maybe I should mention that we have not had intercourse yet. This is from oral sex, especially 69. I am pretty self-conscious about my oral sex skills. Deep-throating makes me gag. So maybe it is because I'm not that great at it. I totally prefer intercourse, but we decided to wait a little bit for this next step.

What do you guys think? Please be honest, don't sugarcoat anything :)

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: jewels_cci
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 10:29pm

I don't sugar coat so no need to worry.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: jewels_cci
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 1:59am

You don't bring him to climax any more than he gives you orgasms. It could be that he has a problem with oral, which some men do.....they love it but they just can't finish that way. Some men can't do it at all, and have to finish by hand, or with intercourse, but even then, it doesn't mean they don't ENJOY every minute of it. It could also be that he's thinking that women LIKE it when it takes forever, and he's holding back.

As Tish said, "69", despite it's "reputation" of being so hot and sexy, isn't really the greatest thing to do, at least not for more than a few minutes. It's very hard to concentrate on what is being done to you, AND what you're doing...at the same time.

I'm very confused about "intercourse" being the "next step"....when oral sex is totally MORE intimate than intercourse can ever be. It's possible whenever you do go for the intercourse, that he'll STILL take a long time.

You need to talk to him about this....and not just asking him if he's satisfied. Believe me, he IS satisfied. Oral sex doesn't take that much "skill"....unless you hurt him in some way, it's good for him. Deep throating is more of a "mental" pleasure than physical, because it's really only the head of his penis that has much feeling....the shaft doesn't really have that much sensation. Maybe he likes it a bit faster, or slower, or tighter, or looser....or more hand action along with it. That's what you need to ask him about, because every man likes it different...and what's good for one may not be good for the next one. If you can DO it, then you need to be able to talk about it, too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
In reply to: jewels_cci
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 4:08am
My husband doesn't orgasm through oral, he just never has. We don't think it's a problem. He also takes a long time during vaginal intercourse, typically between 15-30 minutes, I'd normally quit if he wants to go longer than that.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jewels_cci
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 1:33am

You'll find VERY little "sugarcoating" on THIS board! LOL!

Believe what your BF says since it would serve no good purpose for him to lie if he wasn't being satisfied. MANY men take a long time with oral stimulation, if they can orgasm from it at all!

My DH of 28 yrs. still varies with each session, whether he's receiving oral, vaginal or manual stimulation. Sometimes he takes 15 minutes, sometimes 30, others times, much less. It all depends on the amount of foreplay, length of arousal and session, how tired he is, how stressful his day has been, etc. etc. etc.

Don't make any assumptions about the response time though, that will likely vary for men at every given session, for MANY different reasons, just as it does for women.




Edited 1/18/2005 1:41 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: jewels_cci
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 11:49am
You must tap into his "secret zones" to get him to have a mindblowing orgasm. Try licking his balls and the spot between his boys and ass. Lick up and down the shaft while playing with his boys. Make sure you get him nice and wet. A good way to make your man cum is to use KY. Masterbate him while playing with his balls and ass. Nice clean, nasty and freaky sex... If you are using these tips already and your bf is still not having orgasms, then have him see a doctor. Hopefully, he's being honest with you and is not bored or thinking about fly fishing...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: jewels_cci
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 6:36pm
Maybe you are doing exactly what you *should* (i.e. what he likes) and he just enjoys it so much he doesn't WANT to cum yet. I and my bf often enjoy the process more than the orgasm. I don't want it to happen quickly a lot of times.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2004
In reply to: jewels_cci
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 7:12pm

That's a very nice way of looking at it :) You might be right, I think he wants it to last as long as possible. A few days ago, I was giving him a hand job, and he whispered to me 'you don't want to make me come yet'.

Thank you everyone for your input. We do try to be open about what we like and don't like. But we are still pretty early in the relationship, so we don't know how we 'fit' together 100% yet. This will happen with time and practice.

Julia

ps. if anyone reads this and has an answer, i would appreciate it. does anyone know what the amount of semen means? is it related to diet, genetics? does it mean anything?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
In reply to: jewels_cci
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 2:52pm

Hi
Here is an excerpt that might help ,".....

The force and amount of ejaculate vary widely from male to male. A normal ejaculate may contain anywhere from 2 to 15 milliliters (from half a teaspoon to a tablespoon), although 5 to 7 ml is typical. The amount of ejaculate is highly dependent on how recent the last previous ejaculation was within a range of the first two days. In other words, an ejaculation soon after a previous ejaculation will be very small, but will be much larger if ejaculation has not occurred for two days or longer....."

This seems pretty reasonable. I personally have found that the more foreplay I have the more expell and vice versa. I did not find any info aboout how diet or genetics could affect this. I am sure that there are some people on this planet that might have a genetic coorelation. Hope this helps.

mb