married sex....
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married sex....
| Mon, 08-01-2005 - 4:26pm |
For those of you who are married and had lovers before you got married....How is sex different with your Hubby?..Is it better, worse, same, kinkier? Does it mean more or do you see sex as just sex?(no matter who it is with)

This may sound weird, but I've never compared. Quite honestly, the guys from my past are but a distant memory and are very hazy memories at that. I couldn't compare even if I wanted to.
Not only is my practical memory for this stuff not so good, there is also a self preservation thing happening. You see, if I've broken up with someone, it's because I don't want to be with them and I really don't want to remember having sex with them. The memory is like Ewwww. Just don't want to go there.
The exception to this would be memorable situations. I remember being naked with my first boyfriend watching the sun set through some large windows. I remember a summer fling that I had when I was 17 - he was older and far more experienced than anyone that I'd been with before. However, the actual technique has slipped from my memory. Besides, what was amazing sex at age 17 would probably be 'run of the mill' for me 20 years later.
However, if you asked me about something that I WANT to remember - or even trivia - I've got the memory of an elephant.
While I do remember the lover, I truly don't remember the technique. With the exception of one or two who were truly disappointing. With those ones, while I don't remember the actual act, I do remember that they had no idea that a woman needs to be pleased too.
Yes, there have been one or two one night stands, but generally speaking, one night stands are not so great. I certainly don't hanker to re-live those days either in memory or in some type of mid-life crisis LOL.
Oh, and just so that you know: I'm not writing this in an effort to be PC. I think you know me well enough to concede that I'm rarely PC ;-)
I've only had sex (intercourse) with people I loved, so I don't know what it would be like to have sex with someone I only knew casually.
I definitely think sex with the DH is better (and kinkier) though, because we've had so many years to practice and we completely trust one another. There's a bond there that can't compare to casual sex. So, yes, it means more.
I was just curious about some of you who may have had a little wildness in their past, and what you thought about the experiences compared to your hubby.