married sex....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
married sex....
8
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 4:26pm
For those of you who are married and had lovers before you got married....How is sex different with your Hubby?..Is it better, worse, same, kinkier? Does it mean more or do you see sex as just sex?(no matter who it is with)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: humpdaddy
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 6:05pm

This may sound weird, but I've never compared. Quite honestly, the guys from my past are but a distant memory and are very hazy memories at that. I couldn't compare even if I wanted to.

Not only is my practical memory for this stuff not so good, there is also a self preservation thing happening. You see, if I've broken up with someone, it's because I don't want to be with them and I really don't want to remember having sex with them. The memory is like Ewwww. Just don't want to go there.

The exception to this would be memorable situations. I remember being naked with my first boyfriend watching the sun set through some large windows. I remember a summer fling that I had when I was 17 - he was older and far more experienced than anyone that I'd been with before. However, the actual technique has slipped from my memory. Besides, what was amazing sex at age 17 would probably be 'run of the mill' for me 20 years later.

However, if you asked me about something that I WANT to remember - or even trivia - I've got the memory of an elephant.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: humpdaddy
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 6:17pm
so there isnt even that one hot guy you did on a whim?...lol(that you remember?)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: humpdaddy
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 8:20pm

While I do remember the lover, I truly don't remember the technique. With the exception of one or two who were truly disappointing. With those ones, while I don't remember the actual act, I do remember that they had no idea that a woman needs to be pleased too.

Yes, there have been one or two one night stands, but generally speaking, one night stands are not so great. I certainly don't hanker to re-live those days either in memory or in some type of mid-life crisis LOL.

Oh, and just so that you know: I'm not writing this in an effort to be PC. I think you know me well enough to concede that I'm rarely PC ;-)

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: humpdaddy
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 12:45pm
while I have had some pretty good casual sex way bach..nothing stands out as really special..I agree with you that one nighters are not that great as a whole, but on occation they can be pretty good.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: humpdaddy
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 5:41pm

I've only had sex (intercourse) with people I loved, so I don't know what it would be like to have sex with someone I only knew casually.

I definitely think sex with the DH is better (and kinkier) though, because we've had so many years to practice and we completely trust one another. There's a bond there that can't compare to casual sex. So, yes, it means more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
In reply to: humpdaddy
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 1:08pm
Definitely kinkier and better. I was very young when I had sex with those other men, and we were all inexperienced. ;-)
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: humpdaddy
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 5:03pm
I`m liking what I`m hearing.....Sex with emotion is what does it for me too.
I was just curious about some of you who may have had a little wildness in their past, and what you thought about the experiences compared to your hubby.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2005
In reply to: humpdaddy
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 1:44am
Speaking as a married(separated) woman, when I look back on my younger wilder days I do believe sex was just sex. My husband and I had a GREAT sex life. I just can't imagine anything that could have been better. Now after being separated for 2 years I'm finally dating again. The guy I am seeing now is a great guy. We had fooled around but no sex yet. But I can tell you the antisipation is killing me. I think it's a little more exciting now because it's all new or maybe the fact that it's with someone new. After sex with the same man for 15 years, maybe I will find out that our sex life wasn't as GREAT as I thought it was. I'll let ya'll know.....maybe.LOL.