Masculine, Feminine, or WHAT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Masculine, Feminine, or WHAT?
11
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 8:16am

I had an "encounter" yesterday that made me think of the "What is masculine" thread that's going on now.

This was a new experience for me. I'm a very liberal person, live and let live, all that good stuff. Whatever people's choices are in life, that's their business, and I try not to judge anyone.

While I was shopping, pushing my cart around, looking for things I needed, I happened to notice a woman in front of me, doing the same thing. The reason I noticed her was that despite the fact that it was fairly cold outside (mid-50 degrees), here she was with fairly short skin tight shorts on, along with high heeled knee high boots. Her legs were fairly thin and shapeless, certainly nothing worth "showing off". She was tall, and the high heeled boots made her VERY tall. She had shoulder length straight mixed gray hair, and she was sashaying around, filling her cart and strutting her stuff. I noticed people coming toward me (and past her) staring, and looking kind of dumbfounded.

Eventually, I met her coming head on down an aisle. Then I realized what everyone had been staring at. It was a MAN! I tried not to stare, or even look at him/her...but it was like a train wreck, trying NOT to look was impossible. Now I had a hard time not looking because I was trying to figure out, was this a very ugly woman, or a man? The "makeup" was awful, the first thing you saw was the bright red circle of "blusher" on the cheeks. Heavy eye makeup, and very red lipstick. A not too natural looking wig. The dead "giveaway" was the VERY prominent Adams Apple.

"She" and I got to the cashiers at about the same time, but she was in a different line. By that time, there was a lot of giggling going on, and the store employees themselves were "strolling" past the checkout line, and not succeeding very well at supressing their laughs. It was very obvious that they were running around and telling other employees to stroll past and "check it out". Meanwhile, the person seemed very oblivious to all that was going on around him/her.

I've seen plenty of medical TV shows about transgendered people, and I've seen shows about transvestites. I know the difference, but I have no idea which of these that person was. On one hand I felt very sorry for him/her. (I have NO idea how to refer to this person....."him" (obviously)? or "her"?) It would be no different if it was a serious handicap.....people were being very rude. But then, it was his/her choice to appear in public this way, and I'm sure he/she has seen this behavior before, and has learned to live with it. I'm sure he/she would have attracted a lot LESS attention if the outfit hadn't been so out of place, shorts and bare legs on a cold day!

Later on, I was thinking about the ongoing discussion here about what is "masculine". This person was in no way feminine.....so was he/she masculine? As I and others said, a lot of it is in the eye of the beholder. I can't tell you what I thought, because I'm not sure. She wanted to appear feminine, but it didn't come off that way. So, here's a 6 foot plus guy that's definitely not feminine, but is he masculine? Not in my book! Looking at his facial features, I have a feeling that without the female disguise, he would look very masculine, but he's obviously not that either.

As I said, I've seen TV documentaries about it, I've read newspaper articles about it, but yet seeing it in real life was very disconcerting. SOMEONE should give this guy some advice about dressing appropriately, and how to use makeup, that's for sure!

So, what is this person? Masculine, or feminine? Neither? Both? I certainly don't know! Has anyone here actually seen this up close and personal? What was your reaction? What are your thoughts?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 3:48pm

I wasn't judging the person, or asking anyone else to judge him/her. The question was asked because of another thread exploring how you judge a man's "masculinity"....and I was wondering how you would be able to judge a person like this.

I know the difference between trans-gendered people, and transvestites. I have no problem with either one of them. It's everyone's choice what they do with their lives, and how they live their lives.

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