Masterbation
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Masterbation
| Mon, 01-16-2006 - 6:46pm |
My man can only cum if he masterbates. I cannot make him cum with my mouth or my hand.
He seems fine with this, but I feel like a failure. I have never been with someone who can't come during sex.
Any advice on how to get my masterbating man to cum by my hand, or mouth, or...?
He seems fine with this, but I feel like a failure. I have never been with someone who can't come during sex.
Any advice on how to get my masterbating man to cum by my hand, or mouth, or...?

Wyo,
The inability to orgasm with a partner for both men and women, is often times related directly to their ability to trust and to fully "let go". Orgasm is not something that happens by trying, but by letting go...surrendering. Some don't feel safe letting go. After all, orgasm is an incredibly vulnerable time, both physically and emotionally. This is usually not conscious, so you can't real reason with thim if this is the case. Rather spend some time finding out more about him on the inside. Cultivate intimacy on a more mental/spiritual level and the orgasm with you will probably take care of itself.
The other possiblity is far more simple. He could be so used to masturbating as a way to satisfy himself that he is unable to know how to orgasm with a partner. If that is the case, it can be overcome with a bit of practice and communication.
Good luck,
Scott.
1. It has nothing to do with you. You don't "make" a man ejaculate, anymore than a man "makes" you have an orgasm. This is something that's up to him. If he's happy with it, then it's his choice. As scott said, maybe that's what he's used to.
2. He isn't the only man like that, he's just the first one you've run across. You aren't a failure because there's nothing you're doing wrong, and there's nothing you can do to change him. That's up to him.