Mastrubation or child play as a kid?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2006
Mastrubation or child play as a kid?
3
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 9:32am

Something in another post made me think of this. I never ever mastrubated as a kid or even as a teen. I became sexually active (fingering, etc) with boys at about age 14, & then intercourse with my "boyfreind" (who lasted 4 yrs) at age 15. After that, at about age 20, I went crazy & slept with a LOT of guys, about 35+, b4 i married my pretty un-exciting sexually, XH.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2003
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 10:27am

I don't know if it is *normal* or not, but I think alot of us have done some sort of experimenting as a child. I remember spending the night at a friend's house around the age of 10; I'm not sure who initiated it but we ended up looking at each other's genitals. Just a normal part of childhood couriosity if you ask me.

Anyway...I don't think your experience had anything to do with the inability to orgasm and masterbate for so many years. I didn't learn to do either one myself until I reached 30. Even then I learned with a vibrator and video that I had ordered from Betty Dodson.

In the past I was involved in relationships that were abusive and toxic. Not feeling loved and valued put up a mental block for me, making sexual pleasure elusive. My husband has turned my life around, and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that I am loved by this man. As a result I was able to let down my guard and allow myself to feel pleasure. And with a little knowledge from the *how to* video and vibrator, everything just seemed to fall in place!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 10:42am

I agree, I think it's a normal part of childhood. I had an experience with a neighbor boy out behind the garage. Basically he touched mine with his & we thought it was sex...LOL

As for whether it has anything to do with your level of pleasure as an adult - I doubt it. Like the PP said, it's about being comfortable and learning what works. I certainly know sex in general (whether solo or with DH) is much more pleasurable and exciting than ever in my past. I think that has a GREAT deal to do with the level of comfort and happiness.

 

 

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 5:47pm

Child's play is just that, child's play. Curiousity.

Many people have experiences as children that have nothing to do with their adult sexual identities. They may play SOME role in shaping it but they don't necessarily define it.

I never had any same-sex experiences but of course, I was curious and can remember experimenting with a couple of boys.

I think what happened is that, through masturbation, you learned about your body and how it works. And once you figured that out, you were able to fully enjoy your sexuality and orgasm regularly.

Once women realize that THEY are in charge of their own pleasure, not their partners, they become more confident in their sexuality and with asking for what they want.