Masturbate with a woman

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Masturbate with a woman
17
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 5:54am
Did any of you have masturbate in front of your female partner's or have this thought in your mind? Will you ask you female partner to get naked in front of you to do it? Please share you views with everyone.

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 4:37pm
It's good that you're comfortable enough to do this in front of your husband, but not everyone is. And that would like likely be the reason why more people don't do it in front of their partners. Of course, some just think masturbation is a private activity, too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2005
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 8:27pm
I have just recently started masterbating in front of my hubby. I had no idea he would love it so much. We have been together for 24 years. It's such a turn on. I would not do that with anyone else tho. It is somewhat a private thing.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2005
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 1:51am

In answer to my statement that I sometimes exercise nude in front of my husband and masturbate while doing so, Katmandoo2001 wrote:

"It's good that you're comfortable enough to do this in front of your husband, but not everyone is. And that would like likely be the reason why more people don't do it in front of their partners. Of course, some just think masturbation is a private activity, too."

Yes, I admit, I am comfortable doing it-- and it excites him. I like exciting him, and though I think sometimes it's very hard work trying to stay attractive, I do work at it--I enjoy sex and would like lots of it. After all, he's my husband; I'd like to keep him interested. And it is a private activity--just as my husband is my private business. I am not embarrassed or ashamed being naked. On the contrary. It's thrilling to be desired and I like it. If other women don't care for this, that's their choice.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:42am

Well, my DH and I enjoy being naked together and enjoy sex as well but don't feel the need to "work" at being attractive to one another. We love each other so there's no work involved. We DO make effort to please one another in bed though.

My comment was in response to your questioning why more women didn't choose to masturbate in front of a spouse. There are many women who have issues from the past, such as abuse, etc. that make being so overtly sexual difficult. I wasn't questioning your choice, just your seeming assumption that masturbating in front of one's spouse should be easy and natural. As I said, it isn't for everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 10:20am
personally just the thought of seeing a woman exciting herself, gets me stiff, R
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2005
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 10:35am
Thank you, Katmandoo2001, for answering. I know some people are embarrassed at sexual or romantic things and so can't relax so much during sex. I really do have sympathy for them, even though, perhaps, sometimes I don't sound like I do. In fact, my husband is one of those people. I've had to be so terribly patient with him... I mean, we could have had a far far more intimate wonderful marriage but the difference in libidos and openness has just been an enduring problem. You probably disapprove of a woman like me and I'm sorry (I deceive him by making love with my women friends). I just could forego what I am and what I like. I've tried hard to take care of him the way a woman should, and I do, but it's I who feel rejected, it's I who get turned down (by him). It's only by "hard work" that I have sex with him at all (he'd otherwise stop having any, I believe). So, when I do things in front of him like show off my body or masturbate doing my exercise routine--though I really get excited by his seeing me--, I'm aware that it's not he who suggested it and I remember what I had to go through sometimes months of talking to get him to accept and enjoy me doing these things... Sometimes my efforts fail miserably (as happened recently), and I feel terribly ashamed of having so much exposed myself to another rejection. Anyway, thanks for taking time to write...
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 2:01pm

As I said, I wasn't criticizing what you choose to do with, or for, your DH, so my comments were never directed at personal choices.

But my DH and I have always had differing libidos as well. Not so uncommon at all but most couples manage to figure it out and find a compromise, as we have.

As far as your activities with your female friends....also your choice. I can't say that I believe that cheating is something I would ever approve of but my personal thoughts about your specific circumstances aren't important.

Have you ever considered or gone into counseling together? My DH have in the past, and it helped immensely. I can't recommend it enough.




Edited 2/13/2006 2:03 pm ET by katmandoo2001

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