masturbating

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2005
masturbating
4
Sun, 06-12-2005 - 8:15am
My boyfriend are not yet having sex, but are doing pretty much everything but. Just recently when I am giving him a blow job, he pulls me away and starts masturbating and then nudges my head back when he cums. Is it normal for guys to masturbate or does it mean I'm not doing it well enough?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: karabridges
Sun, 06-12-2005 - 8:37am

You are having sex, you're not having intercourse.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: karabridges
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 5:33pm

My DH has never "nudged" my head away from his penis to masturbate.

I think you need to ask your guy why he did this and then relay how it made you feel. And communicating about that, and anything else you have questions about, would be more effective than guessing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
In reply to: karabridges
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 6:42pm

Does he grunt too? Maybe nudging is the only way he's comfortable communicating(caveman style ;-))

DH needs both hand and mouth to climax during oral. He just needs the added stimuli. It may very well be the same with your bf. Why not watch how he does it and try to emulate it? Tell him(outside of the bedroom) that you want to learn how to pleasure him both manually and orally and that you want him to teach you how he likes it. I would leave room though and tell him that this is what you'd like, but you'd understand it if he prefers it just the way it is. It may be the only way he can get there, so you may have to accept that. It has nothing to do with you. Don't you stimulate your clitoris yourself during partner sex, when you feel the need to? It's the same thing.

Nudging...tee hee

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: karabridges
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 8:39pm

As the others have pretty much said, it's normal. Not every guy needs to do that but many do need to take over to finish themselves off, and it doesn't mean that you're not doing a good enough job.

Some guys have a very specific way of masturbating - the pressure and the angle and the speed has to be just right for them to push over the edge of their orgasm and cum. It's unlikely that you'll be able to duplicate that with your mouth because it's just different, not worse or not good enough, it's just really different. Trust me when I say that what you are doing feels really good. Getting a BJ is a fantastic feeling.

As tish said, it's quite possible that you can talk to your b/f and learn how to stroke him and stimulate him so that you can finish him off yourself but don't panic if you can't quite get it. I think that over time you'll probably learn to get him off with a BJ even if you don't really try hard to learn exactly what he likes. he'll get used to the stimulation from your mouth and you'll pick up a couple of tips and tricks that really push his buttons. They might even be things that he had no idea worked for him either!

One final thing that might be an issue. Many women don't like a guy cumming in their mouths, so he might be trying to be considerate and is avoiding cumming in your mouth because he thinks that you won't like it. If you want him to do it, tell him. It might pay to tell him that just moments before he ejeculates he could tell you, groan something, or squeeze your shoulder or something so that you aren't taken completely by surprised and taken off guard.