Masturbation and guilt

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Masturbation and guilt
6
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 11:28am
I have noticed a number of postings on this site regarding masturbation, and this has created a question in my mind. I am a woman past middle-age (to put it tactfully), and I now live alone. During the last few years I have been masturbating from time to time. However, when and where I grew up, any discussion of masturbation was always laced with generous servings of guilt. When I was young, masturbation was NOT an activity to be indulged in by nice (read "religious") people. So I am asking the readers on this board who were raised in the Catholic Church or in other religious denominations that thought masturbation was a sin, do you still feel guilty about masturbating? Do previous teachings in your background still influence how you feel about masturbating or sex in general? I would like to hear from all ages and faiths.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 12:09pm
Hi & welcome to LTAS! My name is Stephen & I am in a simmilar boat as you. Since I discovered masturbation at an early age, I have enjoyed the activity, but as you point out, not without feeling guilty afterwards. Religion has always taken a hard stance on sexuality, especially in the are of masturbation...this leads to other immoral acts, its a waste of God's gift...you get the drift. It as taken a long time to get to the place I am now in regards to not feeling as guilty. That is not to say that I don't feel guilty, just not as much as I used to. We are called to walk as close a line to goodness as we possibly can, but this is where the kicker comes in...we are only human! We have needs & desires, and we are not perfect. There are a whole lot worse things in this world you can do than making yourself feel good! I think that if it became an issue where it hurt someone else or interfered in your life in a negative way that there would be some issue. But masturbation is something that can make you feel good, can relieve stress or put off having sex if needs be. As a Catholic, I understand how you have been trained to beat yourself up, I do in other areas of my own struggle. But I would say, don't. Again, you are only human & you have needs. There is another board under relationships that specifically deals with solo sex, i would recommend you take a look there & post this question there too. Give yourself a break & enjoy this gift....just don't abuse it.

Be Well,

Stephen

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2003
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 12:18pm
Well, I'm a bit on the younger side and also not of the christian faith, though I am devoutly religious. In my belief, your body, like every other part of nature, is to be respected. You have this constant energy building up in you, and you release it in many ways - doing daily activities like walking around, cleaning, anything involving physical motion. In that way, you're releasing physical energy that's built up - if you didn't, you'd feel restless. It's the same with mental energy. You have to stimulate your mind throughout the day by having a good conversation with someone, watching the news, writing something, reading a good book, etc. You also have emotional eergy building up, and spiritual energy (which you probably release through prayer and faith). You also have sexual energy. If you let that build up in your body and don't help to release it at some point (not necessarily every day or week or anything like that, just however often you feel you ned it), it will be trapped in you and push itself on other areas of your self, possibly making you ill. Now it's not true for everyone in the same ways, but if you feel the need for that release, then it's probably just that - a need. I myself was once a strict Christian, and I believe that god nor anyone would look down upon giving yourself pleasure and releasing that pent-up energy. You were able to gain pleasure for a reason. Arguably the reason man was built to feel pleasure was so he could continue to create. But women? We're often known to indulge ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 2:29pm
They call it "self pleasuring" for a reason. You're giving yourself pleasure that you're not able at this point in your life to get from a partner. Who is being harmed? NO ONE!

How is this any different than treating yourself to a chocolate bar, or a piece of cake? It's pleasure, nothing more. The "church", be it Catholic, Protestant, or any other religion is still in the dark ages about many things, sex being one of them. If you want to get technical about it, the Catholic church frowns on partner sex for pleasure, too. Sex is SUPPOSED to be for procreation, not for pleasure. That doesn't stop most people from using birth control and enjoying sex. If you truly believed that sex is "bad" except for reproduction, then I guess everyone over child bearing age shouldn't be having sex. Ridiculous.

The "church" is "man-made" rules. Rules can, and have been changed. How many years did Catholics occasionally eat meat on Friday, but feel guilty about it? Now, Catholics can eat meat on Friday.....and NOT feel guilty. Men made these rules, and men can change them. If they come out next year and say it's ok to masturbate....then you can do it without guilt, so why not just do it without guilt now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 2:55pm

I am 46 yrs old and of Lutheran religion, I never remember anything being said about masturbation.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 4:24pm
I am a Christian, from a Babtist background, but now a member of a nondemoninational church.


I don't remember being told not to masturbate when I was growing up. It wasn't really discussed. I had some vague guilt when I first began doing it because I instinctively knew it was a private act and I had to sneak to do it. But as a formal teaching of the faith, no.

I think accepting that human beings have natural urges for sexual pleasure and that it's not realistic to expect a fully matured adult to do without it, is important. You aren't hurting anyone by masturbating, you're taking care of a very real need and it's a better alternative, IMO, than seeking out partners just for sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 6:42am
Ah the guilt trip! When I got caught masturbating at 10, I was given a lecture (which made me feel guilty). My church DIDN'T preach against masturbation; but parents did... Now, I find out that masturbation is a natural event in a person's sexual maturity. Mac