to the men -

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
to the men -
34
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 7:39am

cont'd from the previous email-to the women -nonsexual touch leading to sex.. the answers that has been give has helped.

Men what do you consider nonsexual touch to be and -I have yet to hear from you and or what is sexual on a woman to you? If you men hare easily stimulated in most cases -and need to take cold showers to lets say to when you can't receive it - wouldn't that be saying you are easily triggured when in one aspect you are... so if you are almost always desiring sex or anything related to it -can you touch and not want sex and if so why etc. ???????It seems to me that if are easily stimulated -any nonsexual touch for you would almost always lead and be sexual except for a nonsexual guy...

Doesn't kissing for you have a taste of sex in it...?

Judith

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
In reply to: sjudma
Sat, 05-20-2006 - 6:53pm

I will forgive you and sorry but you are wrong; It is not curiosity. Lets just say that the responses I receive are helping me to process stuff and so on... - etc.

Please read other posts I have written -there is info in there about me -

"The way you prefer to make yourself sound is that you are a Non-Sexual Person"

I know it sounds that way but it isn't. I am not that.. but yes having been hurt sexually has ......I dont see myself as a nonsexual person.. Again processing through...

"Anyway no matter, whatever motivates you, you want info. Unfortunately anything I tell you will be just as subjective as anything else anyone has already posted or will post later (it is the nature of the beast)."

I understand you. It is not info. Think in terms of finding the missing puzzle piece to the puzzle. At least that is what it is for me. The responses ("answers") are the missing puzzle piece. The only way i know how to explain it.

"while I agree that it is hard to give you the information you need without knowing your specific situation (and I also support the idea that our anonymity in these forums is pretty well protected). I do respect that you do not wish to post publicly your issues."

Thank you for this last sentence.-Actually what I hve received has helped even though you dont know much.

Judith

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: sjudma
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 1:21am

"I understand you. It is not info. Think in terms of finding the missing puzzle piece to the puzzle. At least that is what it is for me. The responses ("answers") are the missing puzzle piece. The only way i know how to explain it."

If you were sexually assaulted or raped, there is NO puzzle, and you will never get the correct answers. It doesn't matter what you did, you didn't ask to be assaulted.

Asking what other people think, feel or do will not tell you what this person who hurt you was thinking, or what he was feeling.

Any man who would force himself on a woman who has said no is a rapist, and a sick person. Not even psychiatrists can get into the mind of a sick person without years of therapy.

You will never figure it out....so you would be better off getting yourself some professional help to get over the trauma, and to understand that it wasn't your fault...than to try to figure out why he did what he did. He did it because he's a sick man.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: sjudma
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 6:23pm

I tend to be a little blunt sometimes. Not intentionally, though.

When I read back over some of my responses, I can see it, particularly when a post is very ambiguous. Sorry.

I guess my nature is to try and get right to the heart of a point, problem, question, etc. and I get frustrated when that's not possible.




Edited 5/23/2006 6:27 pm ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
In reply to: sjudma
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 10:07am

If you were sexually assaulted or raped, there is NO puzzle, and you will never get the correct answers. It doesn't matter what you did, you didn't ask to be assaulted.

Yes I have gotten the responses/answers from here that has been more helpful that other places. I know what happened to me was not healthy. In my case the missing puzzle piece works. I am sorry but that is how it is for me.

Judith

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