?? for MEN about FANTASIES
Find a Conversation
?? for MEN about FANTASIES
| Wed, 04-27-2005 - 10:19am |
My DH had a bizarre dream about seeing his teenage son get his first blow job, then expressed it as a sexual fantasy. Should I be worried?
I'm trying to understand the meaning behind men's sexual fantasies. Is the fantasy something he really wants to do, or is it something he would never even consider?

A DREAM is one thing, but a fantasy is a conscious thought. So, I also think it's a little weird to fantasize about a son's sexual experiences! However, what he MAY have meant, was that he was relating that thought to his OWN first oral experience and what a thrill it was.
I would hope that he isn't thinking of arranging that for his son so that he can watch though because I think parents need to stay out of their adult children's sex lives!
And a fantasy can be either an indication of a real desire or something that one would NEVER want to make a reality. Like the rape fantasies that some women have.
Edited 4/27/2005 1:06 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
Try to put things in perspective and remember that men "fantacize" about sex something like 3 times a minute ! Usually it is just a passing thing they don't think of anymore. For example if someone in an office has cleavage showing, that's guaranteed to start a fantasy. Same if a secretary is bending over (especially in a skirt) to pick something up or fill a copy machine.
Personally, I am doubting the 'dream thing'. I think that would be wierd but maybe the safest way for him to tell you about it (not admitting it as a fantasy).
Does he know if his son is sexually active? Has he seen a girlfriend that he (the Dad) might fantacize about? Remember that men "really like" 18 year old girls when they are 18 and that pretty much does not change no matter how old they get.
It may surprise you but, as a avid newspaper reader and Newsweek subscriber, recent studies indicate that a BJ has become what a "kiss goodnight" was 20 years ago. It usually starts in Junior High and some huge percentage (40%+) of both boys and girls have done it by high school. After that, its wide open. (No pun intended)
"when my stepson tells me ALL the details...sometimes I get horny"
oh please! Isn't that on the verge of being against the law?????????? Or at the least out of the movie Deliverance??
Lilac,
We all dream symbolically. We take bits and pieces of our days, experiences (thoughts, dialogues, stresses etc.) and our brains cobble together images based on that information. So symbolically, your husbands son (in the dream) is really your husband. All of the characters in our dreams are us...even if they wear the face of another, we are each of the characters because the dream is our thoughts. We play all the parts in dreams and that's the way that our psyche processes stress or unconscious needs. Your husbands dream was simply expressing his own playful, youthful, sexual side.
However, fantasizing about the dream and mistaking the image of his son as his son itself is probably not healthy. Best for him to be aware of the fact that he was expressing something within himself...maybe a need to return to the newness and playfulness of sex. So often we take sex so seriously, and ultimately it is just adult "play" as well as a way to get closer to each other.
Peace.
Scott.