men and orgasms

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2004
men and orgasms
12
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 2:42pm
my boyfriend is always very quiet during sex. the other night he just shivered and quivered during his orgasm. are most men this quiet? does that mean he liked it or what? i'm so confused. he did say "wow" afterwards though. i guess i just want him to enjoy himself.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 3:13pm
That seems odd. All my b/fs have been vocal, but my new one is probably the _most_ vocal ... he seems to say the f word, "cumming" and my name, in no particular order, for about 30 seconds. He has incredibly long orgasms for a guy, which seems kind of fun. Tell him to speak up, I really think it would be more fun for him. Certainly shooting his load inside you isn't anything to be ashamed of -- he's _made_ to want exactly that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:02pm
Dear OP,

We are all different, both men and women...some are quiet, some are loud, some feel comfortable vocalizing some don't. So many of the questions that are asked here boil down to two questions: 1) Am I normal? 2)Is he/she normal? If you read enough posts here you'll discover that there is no such thing as 'normal' and that weird is a weird word. Everyone is who they are...doesn't mean that they may not change. 'Normal' has a vast range, and your boyfriend falls into that catagory. For some reason there are a lot of women that think male sexuality is cookie cutter like. It's not. It's as varied as female sexuality.

It sounds like your boyfriend is quiet when he has sex. No big deal. If you are concerned that he is not having a good time, ask him.

Peace.

Scott.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 6:04pm
I don't think it's unusual or odd at all. My former fiance' was very quiet, while my DH is very, ahem....vocal. As Scott mentioned, we're ALL different so there is no norm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 6:11pm
Hon, there's nothing wrong or different about your b/f, as two of your replies said. Some men are vocal, some aren't. I'd be willing to bet that more are quiet than extremely vocal. The same goes for women. Not very many of them scream and yell, unless they're putting on a performance.

If he's quiet, then he's quiet, and you can't make him get louder or more vocal. I think a "WOW" says a lot, and let's face it, if he wasn't enjoying it, he wouldn't be coming back for more! It can even be an advantage! You can have sex when people are in the next room, and they'll never KNOW, lol

Don't try to make him what he's not.....just love and enjoy him the way he is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 6:26pm
Depending on the intensity of the orgasm, I'm either one or the other. Mostly on the quiet side.

My wife is the exact same way too. More times than not, its those quiet multiple shivering orgasms before that final loud bang of a climax when we're finishing up. I think its perfectly normal either way for everyone. Besides, if your boyfriend ejaculated, whew, then I'd bet he's pretty happy alright, LOL!

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 11:58am
yeah- this is probably redundant, but everyone is really different...my current b/f was SUPER quiet at first...i hardly knew when he was close or even finished...(he also was pretty 'quick'!)...so i started asking him to tell me when he was close and i would change positions to help elongate our sessions...one time tho- i did sort of coyly mention that he was so quiet and he said 'i never really realized, i'm just so 'in my body' at that moment'....

BUT over the months- he's started getting a little more vocal (one time i'm SURE my landlord must have thought i was beating him up!!), he's still quiet a lot too- i honestly think it has a lot to do with letting go and being comfortable around each other...the sex just keeps getting better between us know that we've been together a little while...

but like everyone's said...everyone's totally different, and while it took some getting used to, there's nothing strange about it...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 12:11pm
I'm a quite guy to. Its no biggy. He's jsut savouring the moment.

Jim

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 5:48pm
Like everyone else said, some are quiet, some are not.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 2:45pm
My DH is very quiet during sex, until he gets really close. Then he starts to moan things like "ugh I'm getting close" and "ugh baby I'm going to cum!"
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2003
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 7:45pm
My boyfriend is generally pretty quiet during sex. He often groans during orgasm -- a satisfied little "ugh" and that's about it. It's cute. :)

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