Men and penis size

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
Men and penis size
64
Sun, 07-17-2005 - 4:12pm

Why does penis size come up so much relative to all other things men could be concerned about? I mean what about things like height, baldness, body type, etc.?

My current lover, who is older, has a very large penis and is tall, but he is bald and although by no means fat could be in a bit better shape. My last bf was short and had a small penis but had beatiful hair and was totally fit. Both of them are perfectly confident, not cocky but just not insecure, guys who were totally realistic about their assets and shortcomings.

I mean I just want to remind the guys here that even though we girls sometimes marvel at the idea of large penises and it sounds like we're overly fascinated with them, there are infinitely, infinitely more important things out there. I know the guys here have gone off the deep end when I see the posts about "how to tell before you talk to her that a woman prefers a big penis." That's lunacy and you guys are torturing yourselves for absolutely no reason.

It was my grandma's theory that everyone was handed an equal set of assets and liabilities. And I think that's true to a surprising extent. The worst thing is comparing yourself to others (e.g. often times in these threads guys are aghast to learn that they are below average in size). It's like, I'm cute and in pretty good shape and I do fine with guys, but my roommate is truly gorgeous and gets ten times the attention from men that I do. Am I jealous? Do I feel sorry for myself? Not at all! It just builds character.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 11:53am

<<out there.>>>


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 12:19pm

"everyone was handed an equal set of assets and liabilities"

No. That's a romantic and comforting notion, but anyone who looks at the world with open eyes can see that is not true.

"It just builds character"

Yes, that is true. I find it surpising that so many guys think they are at or above average in penis size. They are not, and it would do us and them a service if they admitted to themselves their shortcomings.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 12:48pm

I'm curious as to why you believe that "so many men" are overestimating their sizes? And why do they need to "admit their shortcomings?" It's all really just a matter of perspective anyway, isn't it? One woman's below average is another woman's just right!

I have actually found, and read, that many men UNDER estimate their size.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 1:18pm

>>> IMHO, the younger generation women seem to want the big penis. As if, when a guy goes on a date, he has to advertise his mesaurement.<<<

Yup I agree as a person that is in the sort of younger generation but even older women say the same thing as I have seen on another board
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>>>>>:Many women seem to contradict themselves because they go from one frame of mind to the other. Therefore in one conversation, a girl may tell you that the size isn't the issue, and in another conversation she's talking about how one guy was incredibley small or big and how it was either a turn on or a turn off.”
For example, one women posting on this board said in one reply that size didn't matter. In another reply she said that when dating a guy, she can only hope that he is of at least average length.<<<<<<<

I agree jman75 around this time last year in this board I remember a poster did the same thing in one penis size thread she says how godly her SO is because he is “hung” and how much size matter to her then later another penis size topic pops up and she does a 180 saying it does not matter and why guys think about it so much and some guys even brought that up to her…funny thing was she just tried to talk herself out of it by attacking them I forgot her username but I believe the mods may remember she was banned and then came back....I bet you can even search and find that same thread.

I have seen on another board a women say it does not matter then later say its matters and when someone brought her past post she says her feelings change everyday
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>>> Some* girls marvel and seem overly fascinated with large penises, not all women do. I find it funny that you ask the question why penis size comes up so much and why men worry about their size, when you in many of your posts make it known how huge your lover is whether the post has anything to do with size or not. You also say the worst thing for men to do is compare themselves to others but in some of your posts, you compare your current lover to your past lover? When men see some women posting like this, continuously saying how big their guy is and what a great lover he is, what do you expect some men that are average or below average to think? <<<<<

cl-issytish see now you know why things like this is such a peeve to me I always see female posters that say large penis is one the things they look for in a man etc etc then turn around and for some reason wonder why guys care so much.




Edited 7/18/2005 1:19 pm ET ET by dr_blar
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 1:36pm

<<>>


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 1:44pm
I do? Sorry, that's really lame. It is a little different for me only b/c i've always had men with really small ones -- and that's fine. They were by no stretch less manly or anything of the sort.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 3:12pm

"You can't teach yourself to be less superficial." Of course you can. You can start by monitoring those unfair instant reactions and judgements when you become aware of them.

We can train ourselves to react differently and more objectively if we choose to. The same way we can change any other behavior or negative thought process. It's not impossible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 5:29pm

>>Isn't it just the same as a woman's boobs? <<
No, not really. It's probably more like her womb AND her boobs. But even then it doesn't work because there simply isn't that competitive instinct there in women and it's a male-dominated society so there simply isn't anything that translates the same.

Basic biology says that the more attractive you are, the better your chances of breeding. In today's society there are zillions of different factors that need to be considered when you decide who is attractive and who isn't. And that's where male competitiveness comes in. If you are competitive you stand a chance of showing that you are the BEST. If you are the BEST, you are more attractive. And that is very very true. Think of any man that is the best at what he does. He is always attractive to many women. Maybe not physically attractive or handsome, but he always attracts women.

Everything you mentioned is an area when men can "compete" and show who is the best, then there are clothes, jobs, cars, homes, and physical attributes. Of those physical attributes the penis size is one that is pretty much the most personal, the one that can't be changed by exercise or surgery or money or success, and overshadows all the others.

Many psychatrists agree that because the penis is the male sexual organ it is THE symbol of male virility. And there are many things in the world today are a representation of male virilty and penis size. Fast cars, tall buildings, even wealth and power. They are all extensions of the male ego and symbols of virility in a male dominated world. If that's the case, you can see how it flows both ways. If you haven't got wealth and power, you better be a real man and have a big penis to stand any chance at all. You can see why it all comes back to penis size being very important.

The way that society sees it you can be a short, little, obese, balding, wrinkled little man and still be virile if you have an enormous penis.

Now there are plenty of women out there that will say "Oh but my man isn't competitive like that and he isn't concerned with his penis size either". Very true. The rules don't apply to everyone. But it is kinda an OVERALL thing and describes men and a man's place in society in general.

The way that I see it, is that it's more surprising that penis size isn't a (pun intended) bigger issue than it is now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 12:13am
lol you still did not answer my question do you follow your words ""ya takes what ya gets if ya dates me" when you date a guy??
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2004
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 2:59am

Women want to be attracted and they want to be feminine. They want their partner to take interest in them. For women, if their man couldnt climax or wasnt interested in sex, they would feel bad. Well, a man feels the same way. W/ all this talk about multiple orgasms, orgasming so hard that it almost blew your mind, female ejaculations, loud screaming intesne as heck orgasms, women being in complete ecstasy, orgasms that last and last and last, etc., it is dizzying. There are so many crazy sexual pleasures a woman can experience and every guy wants to send his girl completley over the edge once in awhile. Well doing that depends on attentiveness, passion, creativity, attention, love, care, toys, different positions, confidence, but.......depending on the woman, it also depends on having a nice good size member. Men hear it from real females, they read about it, they know that in many cases women can experience more intense pleasure w/ a larger penis. Women have 10 partners now a days and they know the difference between a well hung stud and a small dude. Of course, most women can still have enough pleasure to be "satisfied" but many of them would have more intense sexual pleasure if their man was a tad larger.

What is more manly than making your woman so hot and pleasing her over and over and over again and having her admire your talent and prowess in bed? There are many things can contribute, and men believe size is one of them.

Hey, dont get me wrong, many men think breasts are nice, and I may initially be more attracted to larger breasts, and that is a big maybe. But after time, larger breasts arent going to give me more intense orgasms. Larger breats arent going to make me want to have sex w/ you more if I am physically attracted you overall. larger breasts arent going to allow for more elaborate and creative positions that otherwise wouldnt be practical. Some women who are very overweight have poor body image because they know that they arent pleasing their man as much as they could.

Breats, legs, height, muscles, hair.....they are all largely cosmetic and dont really serve a huge function during sex. Anyhow, breast size is also a concern w/ women as penis size is w/ men, so I dont want to trivilize that. Women can have poor body image due to mens obsession w/ playboy girls, just like men can feel a little less manly than they would if they had a huge penis.
Some women have said that their men just arent big enough to give them those intense orgasms they used to have. Some women probably think during intercourse "man, this dude just isnt enough man for what I am used to". W/ all this looming around it is obvious why some men care about their penis size.

I think most men who move from female to female dont think "Damn, this girl is great, but I wish I was having sex w/ a larger breasted woman like before. hmmmm should I break up w/ her because her breasts dont satisfy me". That doesnt happen. That is just my opinion. Again, as tish says, many women arent like this, but w/ the younger generation (people between 20-28) it seems more and more evident that women care and are less satisfied w/ a smaller partner although many will still "tolerate" it.

Having a small penis is becoming more and more like being very short.

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