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| Tue, 05-16-2006 - 7:54am |
on sexual touch vs nonsexual touch. if any of you have more to share please but what was sent is the kind of thing I was sort of looking for
I can accept nonsexual hug.. the kissing and holding of hands I dont know. FYI as nonsexual touch just so you know where I am coming from..
when it comes to kissing except for peck on the cheek -when does the kissing of the mouth to mouth and tongue in mouth get to that point and when does it become sexual ?..I know the intent is key but I can explain where i am coming from with my whatever you call it within me...
Judith

It's rare when our kisses are just a peck on the cheek, Dh and I kiss passionately many times throughout the day but that doesn't mean every time
Your questions are ambiguous, ambivalent and obscure. And any answers you get will be the same, and they won't help you figure anything out. That's because we don't know the man you're talking about. We don't know his feelings toward you, and we don't know the situation that you're discussing.
The pattern of your posts is starting to become clear. There is a man that you're attracted to, and he's not responding to you in a way that you seem to think he should.
Again, if you would explain a particular situation, then possibly you'd get many ideas and opinions about that situation.
In some situations, with some men, a deep kiss with tongue involved would do nothing to "arouse" that man. In other situations, with the same man, or another man, a little brush of the lips against his ear would send him into a sexual frenzy.
A statement you made in another post about "making a man take a cold shower"......men don't usually take cold showers to release sexual tension. That's a joke or a myth in most cases. Most men, if they're sexually aroused, particularly in a public situation, or situation where they can't relieve themselves, will just put their mind on another subject, and go on about their business. If they're in a private situation, they will masturbate to relieve themselves.
You've read that most men think about sex all the time, and that might be true.....but that's just THINKING, and it doesn't mean that these men NEED sex at that time, they just think about it, and so do many women.
You're wasting your time reading the Kinsey Report. That book is VERY outdated, and it refers to averages, NOT to individual men. Every man is different, and they don't conform to any "averages". There are many men who are NOT easily sexually aroused, and most men have to have an interest in the woman to be sexually aroused by them. Most men are NOT sexual hound dogs.....they're not thinking of sex with each and every woman they see. If a man isn't interested in you, you can walk naked in front of them, and most of them will NOT respond. This could even be a husband, if he's lost interest in his wife. And some men will not respond to sexual advances because they have a physical or emotional problem that prevents them from responding.
Every man is different, every woman is different, and without knowing the man, the woman and the situation, there's no way you can get a specific answer to your questions. Generalizations don't help, because no one is "general". My experience can't help you, because I am not you, and I'm not in your situation.
I haven't read anything and I haven't read Kinsey. And the thinking part came from a guy directly. who informed me about it. verbally. there was a misunderstanding on the guy taking a cold shower. That was one of the options that one of the guys told me he had to do ... and i have heard that from more than one man. and i usually need to see at least more than one response. I believe the only response i get. but I usually see somethign different that helps. I dont know why this is well like the taking cold shower for instance. I needed to see if that was only one guy thing and that validated something for me when it wasnt.
A guy thinking about sex all the time came from a guy directly informing me about it. I mention that to show what I know and where I am coming from with it. and the above.
Judith
FYI
I do not break confidences. I use to work in a place to where i was required to keep confidences. and I use that in every person i talk to.
Judith
Speaking anonymously on a message board is NOT breaking a confidence.
Just because one man told you that he took a cold shower does NOT mean that all men take cold showers. He can only tell you what HE does, and other men do other things, or nothing at all. Most mature men can look at a beautiful woman, and NOT become aroused. He may THINK about how nice sex might be with her, but that's NOT the same as becoming aroused! If a man IS aroused, most men just forget about it, and it's over. If necessary, they will masturbate....very few run to a cold shower.
If you need to know something about one particular man, then you have to ask HIM! He's the only one who can tell you what you want to know about HIM.....and what he tells you has no bearing on any other man, or what any other man does.
I know that and I am asking the man... who responds to my post in this forum.. I call them emails
Judith