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| Fri, 05-05-2006 - 1:23am |
Not sure how to talk about this.. I am trying to figure out how to talk about this... help
I am needing help with this -i thought about this today and i struggled with it confusion with it.. i have been helped by you on here before.
I think my basic or one of my basic things I need help with is men what do you FEEL and what are you liking as a feeling when you are doign this and when she is not invovled in a particpate vein... And what would be the -whatever it is called-that she would not want to be invovled and just lay there while he uses his fingers in here before he enters her-would it be a his nite kind of thing... ?
I am struggling with and i am not analyzing she is on her back and he is on her side)() so hang with me here a minute
He is hard ready to go in and she is laying there experiencing his touch on her vagina at the entrance: is he exploring her or is he getting her ready to enter her? when he sticks a finger in -what are you FEELING men when you are doing that... and she is just laying there with eyes semi closed... -is it a sexual feeling you feel in your fingers men? What goes through you men emotionally and physically and if you say pleasure -I need you to define what that means for you?
what do you as a woman FEEL when he is doing that -are you aware of it -it has been said that a woman can be or is lost -to me lost means she is now aware of anything-in "enjoyment" would that be the case in that instance?
Are you getting her wet in order to enter her or is it both men.?
What do you feel woman when he is hard and touching your vagina with his finger first before he enters when you are laying there and doing nothing to be invovled and you are not invovled & not active even not meeting his thrusts? Why would you in that instance "desire" not to be involved at all?
Judith

Judith, your questions are difficult to understand, and impossible to answer. Every woman feels different things at different times, and it is the same with men.
To answer your last question, if you don't desire to be involved, then you shouldn't be involved, nor should you be in that relationship.
Again, if you have a specific question, then you should ask it. It is impossible to answer generalities. It is impossible to tell you what our feelings are in a certain situation, because our situations are different than yours.
Geez woman, talk about trying to overanalyze things. What difference does it matter what men or women feel during all this, when what each individual person experiences is completely different from one another. When I read your questions or statements, questions pop into my mind:
Is she doing some kind of psychology thesis and needs to know what people think?
Is she a virgin, never having experienced sex and trying to perfectly understand everything without experiencing it herself?
Or is she an asexual person that doesn't get what the fuss is about?
Honestly, if I was engaged in ANY sexual act, and I was lying there concentrating on how it felt and what my partner was thinking about, I'd never enjoy it. If I focus on achieving orgasm, it doesn't happen. How we feel, and what we experience changes every time we have sex. Sometimes we aren't that horny, sometimes we are just don't-bother-to-remove-all-clothing horny. Our state of arousal makes a difference. If I'm highly aroused I'm totally unaware of what's going on around me, if I'm not that aroused, then the slightest background noise can ruin the moment.
As for my partner, well part of fingering me is obviously to get me ready - not for sex necessarily, but to help me achieve orgasm - it's entirely for my benefit, not his. However, he gets aroused by watching and feeling me go crazy from what HE is doing to ME.
Seriously - stop thinking about everything, and just DO IT.
No I am not doing a thesis etc. I am struggling dealing with unpleasant .... -read other emails for explanations. any questions I will answer privtely
Judith
Again NO THIS IS NOT FOR a thesis. etc. This helped. this is the one of the answers I needed.
If I'm highly aroused I'm totally unaware of what's going on around me, if I'm not that aroused, then the slightest background noise can ruin the moment-
Judith
Those are the "questions" I have -whatever anyones says will help. Why do you answer if you have a challenge with respond to what I seek help with. I am asking a specific question. What i sent is what I am asking.. That is it there is nothing more.. if there is I will "ask"
Judith