Men and women think differently.
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| Wed, 12-14-2005 - 7:19am |
There's an ad on TV that I've seen several times recently. It's for a national jewelry store chain. It starts with a woman sitting alone in her home on Christmas Eve. She was phoned by her man to inform her that a major snow storm might prevent him from getting home tonight. She hears the sound of a vehicle, and it turns out to be a snowplow that stops in front of her house. She looks out the window, and the man descends from the plow, having obviously moved heaven and earth to get home to her. They embrace, she looks at him with loving eyes, he gives her a gift of jewelry, and they hug again.
I'll bet most women think: "How romantic." As a guy, I was thinking: "He's going to get laid tonight!" Am I right, or do some of you think differently from what I expect for your gender?

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"Just from one woman's point of view, I don't read romance novels at all, don't think I've ever read one."
...and that proves that not all sexual women read romance novels....which brings the numbers up even higher.
Tish....Rice wanted tangible proof, not just anecdotes. I tried. ;-)
"You see....women are more than just a "piece of booty"--they're whole people made up of much that is worthy."
I know, and I agree! I was just embellishing for rhetorical effect. What did you think about the main point I was trying to make?
"You know, the possibility of the roles being reversed hadn't occurred to me, but I think you make a very good point. A woman going to those extremes to see a man, and especially to bring him an expensive gift, would probably be viewed as very strange by most people. "
I can't help but think the complete absence of men as romantic objects must take a toll on our psyches. Our sense of desirability then comes from only our ability to produce income or fight in wars. And then people wonder why we have trouble expressing our feelings!
(And note, I said romantic objects, not romantic subjects. The Fabio-looking dudes in the Harlequin novels are subjects, not objects.)
"Or I'll even go further than that, and even if she doesn't have a partner and as a result, doesn't think about it at all in one week(while the man at the same time is having it ten times)."
Well, you seem bent on torturing the definition of "sexual" until it surrenders and spits out the result you want. But your back is up against a wall: the concept of asexuality. Asexuals have no drive at all (no matter how hot they might look). Therefore "sexuality" is indeed proportional to ones drive.
What point? That if it were the reverse, would it seem commical? It wouldn't. If I saw the commercial in reverse and the woman gave the man a watch, I'd think the same exact thing--how romantic. I wouldn't think her desperate or of low self-esteem either very much like I wouldn't think a man with an apron on preparing dinner for a woman wasn't desperate or of low self-esteem. Quite the contrary.
As far as women being passive with respect to men: I have two daughters, and much like their mother did, they pursue just as much as they are pursued. They were taught that men are to be respected and have needs as well. So far, so good. Afterall, I didn't raise princesses(to be waited on hand and foot) ya know. ;-)
In some mens minds they see an attractive women, and they may be thinking ," I wonder what shes like in bed". I think most women are thinking when they see an attractive man, "I wonder if hes a nice guy, would pay attention to me, be nice to me, make me feel good about myself." Its easier for men to think about sex, its almost automatic because our eyes are always "seeing" That being said, the women who are regulars here in this board are not the typical women out there..many are not open about their sexuality, they have a hard time communicating about what they want in bed, and frankly I can see rains point about them not wanting sex with a man who is rude impolite, controlling etc.
No men are not sexual machines willing to chuck all the relationships faults and still have sex....I will agree with that, but men will over look petty things and remain amerous.
Being sexual and having a high libido do not necessarly mean the same thing. There are plenty of women who have sex just to please their man ,who seem to be sexual but have a low libido.
A woman may not think about sex all day but if her man pays attention to her, romances her, knows about kissing and foreplay (wink) she may find herself "in the mood" pretty
quickly. Yes there are women here like Tish , and Kat who obviously have high libios AND are sexual (sexual means having sex by definition.) But that is not the norm (could be relationship problems, who knows).. Maybe that is because vast amounts of women harbor resentment towards their men, who knows, but to say that women , as a hole initiate sex as often as men do, well thats just not true in the masses.
A person might have a high libido and not be sexual.. Masturbation is not being sexual,being sexual involves at least two people.
Believe it or not there are mem with low libido and women who are glad about that...lol (sorry)
I hear people say that some say that for men sex is nothing more than just a "release"... What about the emotional connection men feel? My point is there is no blanket statement one can make about human sexuality, but there are trends of the masses. Thats where stereo types come from, generalities.
Or maybe men just perceive women dont want to have sex often, not realizing that its their male behavior that makes them that way.( most likely)
There have been plenty of times where I hear a male tell me about his frigid wife, and Im thinking "no wonder"..lol
What I was trying to show Hump, is that a woman's libido may be high, but outwardly not appear so. She may not "act" on it or she may very well be "acting" on it(masturbating) in private, but the point is, she's still has a libido. Simply because she's not out screwing every thing she can, doesn't mean she doesn't.
I think that some women may seem inhibited because they're very confused about how they're suppose to express their sexuality. For instance, a woman who may have initiated sex gets turned down. She may think "He's turned off...he thinks I'm a slut" and as a result, may never initiate again, ever with any man. Even a woman in a loving relationship, may have fears about expressing her sexuality for fear that she'd be viewed unfavorably. It can be very confusing to women as to how exactly they should act. But the bottom line is that ALL of these factors can make it APPEAR that women have less of a libido than men, but that's not really the case. As I said before, I'm willing to bet that any of these women that you men would think aren't sexual because they don't initiate, are more than likely masturbating(and yes hump masturbation is being sexual) which proves that they do have a libido. And that's all that I've been trying to say. Even an inhibited women has a libido, it's just hidden beneath all of the garbage.
P.S. Hump....women look(yes, we're visual) at men and think about having sex with them as well. She, by default places a "good" personality on him." tee hee Of course, if over time while speaking to him or getting to know him, he proves otherwise, she'll lose her attraction, though. I believe that's where men and women differ? Men are less discretional. More than likely a man would have sex with an attractive woman with a bad personality, whereas a woman wouldn't. I think that it has something to do with "rewarding" bad behavior. ;-)
Edited 12/27/2005 1:52 pm ET by rain_dancer_iam
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